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Blue Monday

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 Got Those Not-Going-to-Hamvention Blues Again Dept.

If you have been following along here for awhile, you know I usually go to Hamvention in Ohio en femme. I drive the 750 miles to the Dayton area en femme, spend the long weekend at Hamvention en femme and drive home en femme.

Presenting at Hamvention 2018

Due to COVID19, Hamvention was cancelled in 2020 and 2021, so I was very much looking forward to going in 2022. Hamvention is this week, however, I will not be going because of my osteoarthritis. I am done with physical therapy, feel about 90% recovered and I could probably go if I grin and bear it. But it is too late to get a flight at a reasonable price.

And scratch the roadtrip because my osteoarthritis would not be tolerable sitting in the Subaru for 12 hours going and coming. And with gas prices being what they are, I estimate that gas would cost me over $300!

And with COVID19 rising again, I am not so sure that hanging out with 30,000 of my peers in confined quarters is a healthy choice. 

I will really miss the opportunity to present as a woman full-time for a five-day stint. It is usually one of the highlights of my year. Even worse, I will miss seeing all my friends and acquaintances who I normally see at Hamvention.

Guess I will have to wait ’til next year.

Who’s Counting Dept.

I check the blog’s statistics most days and most days, the blog gets 6500 to 7000 hits. But occasionally, the hit count is much higher. Last Thursday, May 5, it was over 10,000 and Thursday, May 12, it was again 10,000.

I cannot account for the higher hit counts. Go figure – I can’t!



Source: WhoWhatWear



Mary and Gordy
Gordy and Mary (full names: Gordy Blanche and Mary Morgan), portrayed by Reiner Kohler (Gordy) and Georg Preuße (Mary), were a well-known German duo in the 1980s, performing on well-known stages as well as in many entertainment shows on television. (Source: Wikipedia.)

Someday Funnies: Dragnet

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Source: Bebe
Wearing Bebe


Texas, summer of 1970
Femulating with big hair in Texas, summer of 1970

The Spark

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I have always had feminine inclinations and made no effort to hide them. Ask my family, friends, acquaintances and enemies and they will tell you that I am one of the most feminine guys they know. And I’m not even trying! 

Natured or nurtured? Any feminine characteristics I have are natural and not put-on. As long as I can remember, I have always been feminine. That’s not to say that my parents had nothing to do with it – being a Momma’s boy/girl certainly had an influence.

Crossdressing was a perfect match for me. But who knew squat about crossdressing back in my formative years?

So it was kismet that my Dad bought the Daily News for handicapping horses, where I noticed an ad for 82 Club among the horse race results in the back of the paper. 82 Club (AKA Club 82) was a nightclub in New York City that featured female impersonators and their ads depicted a beautiful showgirl (or so I initially thought), who was actually an impersonator from the club.

I was amazed that a male could look so female! And I began clipping the weekly 82 Club ads from the newspaper saving them behind the Washington Senators in the box containing my baseball card collection.

Soon I was investigating my mother’s wardrobe. I will never forget when I finally got up the courage to try on a pair of her nylons and high heel pumps. Then looking in the mirror and seeing the the legs of a woman reflected back at me. And that woman was me!

Whenever I was home alone, I dressed in my mother’s and sister’s clothing and makeup. I often concentrated on experimenting with their bras and girdles trying to find the right combination that was best for me. Makeup was a challenge, but I studied the art and got better at it. My sister even bought a wiglet to complete my femulation! 

Practice, practice, practice, but to what end? I finally could not contain myself any longer and on Halloween 1970, I crossdressed and went out visiting (and shocking) some relatives. 

That was the beginning and there seems to be no end!


Source: Elisabetta Franchi
Wearing Elisabetta Franchi




Fontasia L'Amour
Fontasia L'Amour femulating on television’s Sparks in 1997.
You can view this femulation on YouTube.
Thank you Zoe for the femulation alert!

Someday Funnies

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Source: Intermix
Wearing Backgrounde NYC


Robert Urban and Albert Černý
Robert Urban and Albert Černý femulate Jane Russell and Marilyn Monroe on Czech television’s Your Face Sounds Familiar.
You can view this fab femulation on YouTube.

Tami at the Salon

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By Tami

I always go to salon or speciality crossdresser makeup service whenever I go out in public en femme. It’s not that I can’t do my makeup, but having someone else do it always produces far better results. Besides that, I love the full feminine experience of being among the girls, being pampered and told that I look pretty as pretty beauticians work their magic and fuss over me.

At first, I was afraid to go to “regular” salons with the genetic girls, so I only went to crossdresser specialists like Katie Wannabe, Le Femme Finishing School, Femme Fever and Feminine Mystique. Sadly, some of those places no longer exist.  

Then I tried a “regular” salon (Donna's Hair Salon in Ewing, NJ) that advertised that they served crossdressers. I got an amazing total transformation there, out in the salon among all the women. I had my wig styled, full makeup applied and long nails attached and painted.  

I made an appointment and was assured there would be no problem, that they had a lot of “gurls” like me as customers. I arrived in drab mode, got dressed in a back room. The owner even helped me dress by tightening the laces on my corset, after which she made me swoon when she said that now I had a figure any woman would die for! 

I was over the moon after being fully dressed in corset, bra, stockings, high heels, wig, jewelry and makeup. I was led over to the nail technician where she attached beautiful long nails and painted them bright red, all the while talking to me about all sorts of subjects that only girls talk about. She treated me as if I was born female and said I was the most feminine customer she had in a long time. She said that males like me, who dress as women, are always more feminine than “regular women” because we go out of our way to be as feminine as possible. 

To me they entire salon experience is simply divine. All the lady customers are usually friendly and some want to talk to me about all sorts of feminine things. I’ve gone to many salons over many years and I’m always looking for a new place to try, to have a new experience and see the different results being feminized by different beauticians.  

Don't wait, girls, the full world of feminine bliss awaits you at a salon/beauty parlor. 


Source: Boston Proper
Wearing Boston Proper


Harry Ritz
Harry Ritz (right) femulating in the 1937 film On The Avenue.

Someday Funnies

Minus 4

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By Francesca Pankewicz

When I was four, I discovered the movie The Little Mermaid. I couldn’t help but feel this automatic connection with the movie. This feeling of excitement would fill my body each time the colorful pictures would pop up on the screen. 

Ariel taught me how to sing and act. That had become a huge part of my self expression as a child and still do to this day. Of course the music and plot of the story were great. But I saw a daring young mermaid ready to take on a new world. 

Ariel dreamed of adventure and excitement. She would never let anyone get in her way. She was determined, tenacious and headstrong. Which was the dream of any young girl, but the only difference was I felt like I couldn’t be like them... because I wasn’t born female. 

Growing up I would run around in princess dresses and play with dolls. I was obsessed with mermaids, hair and makeup. I would sing, act and dance and was always born to be heard in this world. I would look up to female celebrity pop culture icons for fashion inspiration and enjoy the content they would create.

But I was supposed to be playing sports, wrestling and whatever else the male ideal is for a young boy. I never fit in with it. My relationship with the male ideal never changed because I always felt female. I almost went against it in my head because that wasn’t who I wanted to be. I would be in my head as a child thinking of being the princess and saved by a charming prince. I would play with Ariel dolls and wish I could be like her, have her hair, smile and personality. I connected with women more; it was just natural. 

Dolls for me were a huge deal and I was quite obsessed with them for a little too long in life. It was because I got to live out my life through them. I got to act like the girl I wanted to be. I could feel their hair and feel as it was mine and create my own little perfect reality. 

Hair is a huge thing for expressing femininity. Ideally it’s long according to stereotypes for women. I’d have to wear a short bowl haircut and wear polo shirts. 

I held onto playing with dolls until I was about ten because I couldn’t let go. If I didn’t have my dolls I could never be who I wanted to be. My parents would say to me, “You’re too old to be playing with those” and whisper about how they thought I would’ve grown out of that “phase.” But it wasn’t a phase – it was me. 

One of the first times I felt transphobia was when I was four. I had just lost my grandmother Rosalinde and she was my best friend. She started out my life and taught me it was okay to be myself. Let me play however I wanted wherever I wanted. It wasn’t a secret she loved me for me and wouldn’t care what anyone would think. My parents would pay attention to the dirty stares and side comments. But I never cared because I was who I was. I didn’t have a concept of gender identity, it was just me. 

She had recorded me in a princess dress acting out the movie Snow White and it was put on a VHS tape. The first Thanksgiving dinner after Rosalinde had passed, we had it at my grandfather’s and we were going over home movies. The recording of me and the princess dress came up and everyone started to laugh at me. I didn’t know why, but I started to feel ashamed. That was the first time that I realized I wasn’t normal, I wasn’t supposed to be who I wanted to be. A child should never feel that way. 

“You need to grow out of that phase!” But if it makes me unhappy, why would I do that? When I would play with my dolls, I could live the life I wanted. They became so much more to me once my Grandma passed – it was my only escape. 

The princess dresses and princess shoes stopped, so did my femininity. The only way I could do something was in my head fantasizing. Sometimes I would get access to wigs and dresses and shoes, but I’d have to sneak around to do it. I would go in the bathroom with my Mom’s makeup and sneak doing my makeup. 

My Dad would sometimes catch me and say I was a sissy or sometimes use the F slur towards me. The transphobia was real, but it was always said as “I'm protecting you.” 

I started getting depressed. Once my dolls were taken away and I felt shame for them afterwards my life got so boring. The best comparison I have for this is when Ariel’s Dad found her grotto and wrecked all of her treasures she’d spent years collecting. She begged and pleaded for her father to stop, as did I, but it didn’t stop. 

I wasn’t the same. I started to not like my makeup done or my hair done anymore. I didn’t know what was missing in my life at this point. I had fully come to accept who I was taught to be and forgot about who I truly was. 

I turned 15, and some feeling came back. It was the same as when I was a child. I knew it wasn’t right, was not who I was taught to act like but I couldn’t take it anymore. Like in old ways, I went again and snuck my Mom’s makeup for the first time in about four years. I was listening for people to be awake and didn’t hear anything. So I went to the bathroom and began my attempt at makeup. I heard footsteps coming, but I didn’t worry because I was under the impression that the door was locked. It was not. 

My Dad comes barging in and says the same offensive slurs as usual. I felt this extreme anger inside instead of shame. Usually I would try to hide what I was doing and have my face hidden looking the other way, but I stood my ground. I looked him in the eyes and I responded with “I don’t care, f*** you.” 

I finally felt this feeling that I missed it and I knew I wasn’t going to let it go. The next morning I bought $100 worth of makeup. I saw a video of James Charles doing his makeup and I thought why can’t I? The next day I went to school with my makeup on. I put on press-on nails and my hair was already growing out. 

Of course the makeup looked horrible and yes, people did judge me. I didn’t care anymore. I finally got the confidence to do it. Everything started to fit in one place. The puzzle was coming together. Before you knew it, I subtracted four letters in my name and was Fran.



Source: ShopBop
Source: ShopBop


Roaring Twenties
Femulating in the Roaring Twenties

Someday Funnies

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Source: Boston Proper
Wearing Boston Proper

Tommy Kelly
Tommy Kelly femulating in the 1938 film Peck's Bad Boy with the Circus.

Train of Thought

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Funny Dept.

I have been posting Someday Funnies three times per week for awhile now. I enjoy creating the funnies and I think some of them are actually funny! But my funnies seldom receive comments (good or bad) from Femulate readers. Go figure.

Ohio Dept.

I am still thinking about missing Hamvention this year. On the other hand, I sure don’t miss driving 750 miles to get home. 

Next year, I plan to go, but I plan to fly (pretty). I just hope the airline industry is in better shape by then because I heard stories from Hamvention attendees whose flights were cancelled going to or from Dayton.

Fly Dept.

Never flown pretty. In fact, I seldom fly at all. (Last time was in 2005.

But I have flown pretty in my head many times and long ago settled on what I would wear (more or less). Of course a wig, makeup, handbag, jewelry. Comfortable heels... not my usual high heels, but mid-heel or kitten heel pumps. Skinny jeans or leggings and a pretty top... maybe a tunic top. Bra, girdle and thigh-highs.

And so it goes.


Source: Ann Taylor
Wearing Ann Taylor


Jakub Nowak
Jakub Nowak femulating on Polish television’s Do Dzwonka.
You can view this femulation on YouTube.
My Polish is a little rusty, but I believe I figured out the plot of this video. Two boys are curious about what goes on in the girls’ bathroom at school. So they dress another boy as a girl (not very convincingly) and send him into the bathroom to see what’s going on. Some time later, he exits the bathroom after the girls give him a thorough makeover. (If your Polish is better than mine and my guess about the plot is wrong or if you can add any details, please comment below.)

Someday Funnies

Someday Funnies

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Source: New York & Company
Wearing New York & Company

Girls’ Night Out
Girls’ Night Out

Someday Funnies

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Source: Venus
Wearing Venus

Johnny Downs
Johnny Downs femulating in the 1941 film All American Co-Ed.
You can view the film on YouTube.

Someday Funnies

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Source: Bebe
Wearing Bebe

Femulating in the Fifties
Femulating in the Fifties

Someday Funnies

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Source: Venus
Wearing Venus

An unknown femulator (right) posing in as a French maid on the cover of Cynthia Payne's Entertaining At Home, which was published in 1987. When I encountered the above image, I knew nothing about Miss Payne, so I looked her up and according to Wikipedia, she was “an English brothel keeper and party hostess who made headlines in the 1970s and 1980s, when she was convicted of running a brothel... in Streatham, a southwestern suburb of London.” After reading the Wikipedia entry, I recall seeing the film Personal Services, which was loosely based on Miss Payne’s life. The film is peppered with French maids and other assorted crossdressers.

Pride

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Attending Trans Pride,
Northampton, Mass., June 2008
June is Pride month. There will be events everywhere to acknowledge pride. (In my neck of the woods alone, I count more than 60 events!)

Pride is “a high or inordinate opinion of one’s own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed in bearing, conduct, etc.” (Source: Dictionary.com)

Do I have pride? Am I proud of who I am?

When I started down this path, I did not have pride. Rather, I had guilt, that is, “a feeling of responsibility or remorse for some offense, crime, wrong, etc., whether real or imagined.” (Source: Dictionary.com) I was not proud of what I was doing. So much so that I hid what I was doing.

Thank Goddess for Halloween! It gave me an excuse to come out of hiding and show the world what I was doing. But I still was not proud of what I was doing and I was back in the closet when Halloween was over.

Eventually, I realized that I was misinformed and my guilt slowly transitioned to pride. So much so that today, I am out of the closet and completely open about what I am doing... and proud of it.

Now I just have to decide which Pride event to attend. There are so many to choose from!

And so it goes. 


Wearing Chicwish

Yet another example of a married couple looking more alike the longer they stay together.

Someday Funnies

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Source: Boston Proper
Wearing Boston Proper

Sestre
Sestre are a trio of femulators who represented Slovenia at the Eurovision Song Contest 2002.

Close Encounter of the Bear Kind

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I live on an acre of land. About half of it is lawn that requires mowing.

I have a walk behind lawn mower. In my youth, I mowed the lawn in less than two hours. On Wednesday, it took me nearly two hours to mow half the lawn. I like to think that the slow down is due more to my osteoarthritis than my old age, but it’s probably a combination of both. 

They say, “Old age isn’t for sissies.” (But what if you are a sissy?) 

But I digress.

After two hours behind my Husqvarna on Wednesday, I quit, parked the mower in my shed and walked back to my house. As I turned a corner of my house, I came face-to-face with a black bear who was heading towards me and my bird feeder.

We were both startled and ran in opposite directions!

It was not the first bear I have seen on my property. Over the years, I have probably had a dozen sightings, but they were always from inside the house looking out.

My Wednesday bear encounter was up close, face-to-face. About ten feet separated us. Wow! I did not wet my panties, but almost! 

We now return you to our regular scheduled programming.


Source: Bebe
Wearing Bebe

Angela
Angela, out and about

Someday Funnies

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Source: Venus
Wearing Venus

Danny Schiller
Danny Schiller (center) femulating in the 1987 British film Personal Services.

What Works

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I have been using skin care products (moisturizers, eye creams, etc.) religiously for years. By “religiously” I mean that I apply the products every day whether I will be in girl mode or not.

I have tried many products over the years. Some worked better than others and some did not work at all. After nearly 20 years of trying different things, I settled on three products because they work! That’s not to say that I don’t try anything new – I do, but I have not found anything that beats the products I am using.

Avon Anew Clinical Eye Lift Pro Dual Eye System is a product that I have been using the longest. (All links lead to Amazon.)

Being an Avon lady, I occasionally receive free samples. After I received a sample of a product to deal with wrinkles around the eyes, I looked in the mirror at the wrinkles developing around my eyes and decided to try the sample.

After a week or so, the wrinkles were less noticeable. After a few weeks, I had to examine my eyes closely to find the wrinkles. So, I was sold on the eye cream, have been using it ever since and have managed to tame the wrinkles around my eyes.

Olay Complete Daily Moisturizer is the moisturizer that I have used almost as long as the eye cream. I prefer it because it gives my face a nice smooth feeling that lasts all day. Also they sell it everywhere so it is easy to buy.

Avon Solutions Dramatic Firming Cream is a miracle product, in my opinion.

I have sun damage on the sides of my neck. All of the foundations I have used only cover the damage temporarily and sooner or later (usually sooner), the red skin shows through.

Visiting Sephora a few years ago, I asked a sales rep what they had to correct the problem. The rep suggested using a color correcting foundation primer from Smashbox. It is green and it goes on where needed under your normal foundation.

I bought the primer and used it on a few occasions, but I was not impressed with its performance and abandoned it resigning myself to depending on the coverage my foundation provided.

Perusing the Avon catalog one day, their Dramatic Firming Cream caught my eye and I bought a tub to try on my neck. Using it daily for a few weeks, I noticed some improvement – the redness was less red. Using it daily for a few months, the redness is gone! Wow! Like I wrote above, it is a miracle product.

After using skin care products for over 18 years, my wrinkles are hardly noticeable and my skin is smoother, more supple and healthier-looking. My makeup goes on easier and looks better. Professional makeup consultants have complimented me on my complexion. And I can achieve that “feminine best” look.

I cannot emphasize enough the need to maintain your skin on a daily basis. You cannot look your feminine best unless you take care of your face everyday.

So what works for you? Let us know in the Comments below.


Source: Bebe
Wearing Bebe

Source: Digital Transgender Archive
Schafer, professional femulator, circa 1900
(Source: Digital Transgender Archive)

Someday Funnies

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While creating this ad parody, I discovered that Rago’s website has a Transgender-Conscious webpage which says, “Rago’s line of transgender-conscious shapewear products will help you feel confident and comfortable as you take on the day. Our smoothing body shaping undergarments will have you feeling authentically you, inside and out. With transgender panty briefs, thigh slimmers, legging/capri pant shapers, girdles, and body briefers in a variety of colors and sizes, we’ve got a piece that is perfect for you.” And so it goes! 


Source: Rue La La
Wearing issue New York

Ricky Renée
Jack Gilbert Renner, better known for his stage name Ricky Renée, was an American actor and travesti performer. He worked with the traveling Jewel Box Revue in the USA and at Le Carrousel in Paris and Chez Nous Cabaret in Berlin. He also appeared in the 1972 film Cabaret. (Sources: Wikipedia and IMDB)
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