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Off-Kilter

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An Avon Lady selfie
Post-Hamvention, I am still playing catch-up at work and at home, so that is why my blogging schedule is off-kilter!

***

I found another video from Hamvention in which I sort of appear. "Sort of" because the video shows me sitting in the second row of an audience at a forum/presentation, but my visage is blocked by a guy sitting in front of me.

Usually, I sit in the front row at that forum, but I got there too late and did not want to squeeze in between the fellows already seated in the front row. Wait 'til next year!

***

Hamvention Thursday, I had dinner alone in the hotel restaurant.

The restaurant adjoins the hotel lobby and I noticed a constant parade of young women checking in at the front desk, as well as other young women milling about the lobby.

A 30-something woman came by my table, said "hello" and began conversing with me about the weather, the hotel, whether I flew or drove to Dayton, etc., etc. I held up my end of the conversation, but eventually she started talking about the banquet we were attending.

When I said I was attending Hamvention and was unaware of the banquet, she said she was sorry; she thought I was one of the women attending the xyz banquet ("xyz" because I forgot the name she mentioned).

I asked, "What's xyz?" and she explained that it was a line of beauty products. Evidently, saleswomen from all over the midwest were at the hotel attending the banquet, but I was not one of them, although I was flattered that she thought I was!



Source: PopSugar
Source: PopSugar



Redesigning Women
The all male cast of the 2013 New Orleans stage production of Redesigning Women.

Marie's First Time

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My recollections are mixed about when I discovered/suspected I was not all male or should I say, had some female hiding in my inner core. My first positive but fearful incident occurred at about age 12 or 13 when one day I discovered my nipples were suddenly hard and sore and had a pronounced bud of perhaps a quarter in diameter, which was tender to the touch. I was terrified – am I turning into a girl? After a week or so, all the sensations and buds receded and I continued life as normal.

At about age 16 several things happened. Almost every day I walked past an upscale dry cleaner who usually had several ball gowns on display in the window and I found myself admiring them.

My movie heroes were John Wayne’s portrayals in westerns and war movies, but occasionally, I saw a Technicolor musical. Often these starred glorious women like Debbie Reynolds, Lana Turner, and Elizabeth Taylor. I always was fascinated by the delicious-looking clothes and in particular remember one scene in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof where Elizabeth Taylor was wearing a body-clinging slip. I thought that was fantastic and began to envy women for their ability to wear the clothes that looked great and offered freedom of expression and mood in sharp contrast to the dull drab colors and styles of men’s attire.

My next shocker came at summer camp where everyone wore shorts. My first day there I put on the uniform and when I stepped out of the tent, I got some whistles and comments from several girl campers about my great gams, which were “too good for a boy.” Was I embarrassed!! But I cataloged the incident in my brain.

The next adventurer was self-induced. While baby-sitting for a relative, I discovered an evening gown – probably a bridesmaid’s – hanging in the hallway in a pink plastic bag. Carefully I raised the plastic and found a gorgeous green velvet floor-length gown with a princess neckline. I was drawn to trying it on. Quickly I took in into the spacious bathroom, took a very quick shower, then stepped into heaven and zipped up the back. My cotton boy socks filled out the bodice wonderfully. The off-the-shoulder style added a degree of daring and romance. It reminded me of Scarlet O’Hara in Gone With The Wind and her gown made from the living room draperies.

I was ecstatic, but after a few twirls in front of the full-length mirror, I was seized simultaneously with near euphoria and panic. Quickly, but very carefully I unzipped and let the green velvet cloud slowly slide to the floor, where after gracefully stepping out of its warm circle, I very gingerly hung it up, covered it in its plastic protective cocoon and returned this marvel of femininity to its original position.


I invite all Femulate readers to share their first crossdressing experience. Try to recall that moment the first time you tried on a woman’s garment and began the process of unveiling and exploring your feminine self. To entice you to share your first time story, I will give away a free copy of my e-book Fantasia Fair Diaries to all whose stories I use in Femulate.



Source: JustFab
Wearing JustFab.



Guys and Dolls
An all male cast performs Guys and Dolls at the UK Caldicott Prep School in 2015.

Girls on Film

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Janet Leigh in Psycho
Reading Marie's First Time post, it struck me how much movies have influenced my desires to femulate.

When most guys see an attractive woman, they want to bed her. When I see an attractive woman, I want to be her. And where am I most likely to see attractive women who I want to be – on the movie screen.

Film actresses are often hired because they are good looking; if they are also good at acting, that’s just icing on the cake. (I know that isn’t politically correct, but that’s the way it is.) So, I am more likely to see an attractive woman in a film who I want to femulate rather than on the street or at work or at Hamvention.

In addition to showcasing women I want to be, films also have encouraged me to femulate. When I saw gents like Tony Curtis in Some Like It Hot or Christopher Morley in Freebie and the Bean successfully portraying women, they showed me that I might be able to successfully portray a woman, too.
    
Back in the day, actresses Suzanne Pleshette, Jacqueline Bisset, Tippi Hedren, Janet Leigh, Eva Marie Saint and Grace Kelly were the women I wanted to be. Instead, I became my mother.


Wearing Edith Head.
Wearing Edith Head.


Jonny Beauchamp
Jonny Beauchamp (left) in a 2015 episode of television's Penny Dreadful.

No Girls Allowed in 1970

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There are numerous videos online depicting various womanless events – beauty pageants, fashion shows and weddings, in which males trade in their trousers for dresses and walk on the distaff side of street temporarily. Most of the online videos are contemporary, but there are a few vintage videos, too.

Zoe alerted me to one from 1970 featuring 28 members of a Boy Scout troop from Henry County, Virginia, who participated in a girl-less beauty pageant, which begins at approximately the 24 second mark of the video.

Don’t you just love the styles the “girls” are wearing? Reminds me of some of the outfits I was borrowing from my mother and sister back then.



Source: Lands' End
Wearing Lands' End.



Miss David Bowie
Miss David Bowie

Too Busy Being Girly

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Source: Rent the Runway
Wearing Yigal Azrouel.



Oliver Thornton and Maulik Panchol
Oliver Thornton and Maulik Pancholy in a 2016 stage production of The Taming of the Shrew.

Candid Camera

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During the past few days, I received unsolicited photos from people attending the awards dinner at Hamvention. I appreciated the photos because my iPhone photos from the event were not the best, (and I am still kicking myself in the dupa for not using my Canon Powershot camera, which was buried in my purse).

There are some nice photos in the batch I received, but I think my favorite is the candid shot above taken by a famous ham radio operator from Sweden. At the time, I was deep in thought going over my acceptance speech in my head and unaware that a photo was being taken.



Lucille Ball, 1965
I love Lucy's suit!



Ken Chan
Ken Chan in Destiny Rose on Philippines television.

Any Womanless Femulators?

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Womanless events bring out the curious among us (including myself) who wonder if any of the participants belong to our team.

In almost every womanless event, there are one or two "girls" participating who are outstanding... so outstanding that you wonder if it was really their first time... rather than being a civilian, are they actually one of us. Or they may be first timers, but their experience releases their inner girl and they so enjoy being a girl that they become one of us.

Saturday's post revived those thoughts around here and I wonder if there is any truth to them. So are any of you readers past participants of a civilian non-trans womanless event?

If you were a beauty queen or a fashion model or a bridesmaid in a civilian womanless event I would love to hear and share your story and photos (I just know that you have photos.)

Or is there really nothing to our urban legends?

(I asked this same question in February 2015 and the response was a little underwhelming. One person admitted to participating en femme in an adult prom fundraiser and another was an 8-year-old chorus "girl" in a summer camp production of Oklahoma, but no one admitted to being in a womanless beauty pageant, fashion show, wedding.)



Source: Intermix
Wearing Helmut Lang tank, Self-Portarit skirt, IRO jacket and Chloe clutch.



Source: Stan Jones
Contestants in a recent womanless beauty pageant.

Run Through The Jungle

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I finally got around to watching Jurassic World. It was an entertaining film with great special effects.

Kudos go to actress Bryce Dallas Howard who wore Sam Edelman Nude Camdyn 3-1/2-inch pumps throughout the adventure including a run through the jungle with dinosaurs at her heels.

When the film came out last summer, there was some controversy about her choice of footwear. Ms.
Howard had this to say about that.

"From a logical standpoint I don’t think she would take off her heels. I don’t think she would choose to be barefoot. I don’t think she would run faster barefoot in the jungle with vines and stones... I’m better equipped to run when I have shoes on my feet. So that’s my perspective on it. I don’t think she would carry around flats with her. I think she’s somebody who could sprint a marathon in heels."

In my youth, I occasionally ran in heels (to dodge traffic), but that was on pavement, not on grass! Walking on grass without sinking my heels into the dirt is hard enough. I can't imagine running on grass in my Louboutins!




Source: Intermix
Wearing Self-Portrait.



Dave Castiblanco
Model Dave Castiblanco

Why Womanless?

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By Starla

Long time Femulate readers will recall regular contributor Starla, who perused online high school yearbooks and clipped any womanless events she found memorialized in those volumes. (You can view her collection of clips here.) 

Awhile back, I posted Starla's theory regarding her reasoning for the existence and popularity of womanless beauty pageants. In light of Tuesday's post and the on-going interest in womanless events, I thought it apropos to rerun Starla's post for anyone who might have missed it. 

Those of you who have followed Stana’s blog for any length of time know that she shares my obsession with “civilian” womanless beauty pageants. It has been fascinating for me to seek out and discover many of these increasingly elaborate events as they have evolved over the last few years.

What has fascinated and intrigued me is that in recent years, the vast majority of the most elaborate and “realistic” pageants (in which the goal is to faithfully mimic girls and not to make fun of them with grotesque parodies), especially at the high school and middle school levels (and even occasionally elementary school), tend to take place in just two states: Alabama and Mississippi.

Yes, in two of the most religious and conservative states in the union, where gays and trans people encounter hostility and harsh judgment, people seem willing and eager to parade their tween and teen sons on a stage in up-to-date gowns, excellent wigs or natural hairstyles, perfect makeup, and high heels, and revel in the event.

Yet the cruel irony is that if any of those same young boys came home one day and announced that they were trans and want to actually become girls, those same parents would probably be horrified!

From a purely geographic standpoint, it’s not hard to imagine this phenomenon being concentrated in certain areas. After all, it's not unusual for any school fundraising or spirit building event to spread from school to nearby school. In this case, it’s also telling that while womanless pageants are held throughout the South, the few really top-notch and realistic events outside of Alabama and Mississippi tend to take place in border areas adjacent to those states.

A good example is the annual pageant held at Ernest Ward Middle School, which is in the extreme northwest panhandle of Florida, just a few miles from the Alabama border. (Here in Florida, we tend to say that culturally, everything north of Gainesville is really Georgia and everything west of Tallahassee is really Alabama!)

The degree of attention to detail and realism in some of these pageants is remarkable. One recently discovered Mississippi event (in Kozciusko) had a dress shop owner bragging on her Facebook page that she had supplied dresses to four of the young male entrants in a local pageant (including her own 14-year-old son who, she proudly announced, had won the pageant). No thrift shop bargains or hand-me-downs – these were current fashions.

In many womanless events elsewhere, footwear tends to be male shoes, flip-flops, or bare feet. In these Deep South pageants, the boys almost uniformly wear stylish high heels and, judging from the ease with which they walk in them, they have practiced in them for some time. We’re talking about 3-to-4 inch heels on some of these! How many 12 to 16-year-old boys do you know who can walk gracefully in heels?

Makeup is done lavishly and professionally – one tween boy in an Alabama pageant looked like he had gotten a full M•A•C makeover. Nails are almost always painted – some even wear fake nails. A few of the pictures I’ve found show boys in open-toed shoes and it is apparent that their toenails have also been nicely painted. (This is the sort of obsessive detail that most audience members wouldn’t even be able to see from their vantage point.) 

The outfits are nicely accessorized with earrings, necklaces, bracelets, even rings. Not grandma’s old junk jewelry – stuff that would look right at home on any female pageant contestant.

And the parents – these same parents who trash Caitlyn Jenner on their Twitter feeds or fight to keep transgender students from using gender-appropriate bathrooms (if they allow trans kids at all in their schools), or encourage county clerks to ignore the SCOTUS ruling and refuse marriage licenses to gay couples, nevertheless revel proudly (and often, not ironically or jokingly) in their son winning or placing high in a womanless event. They will brag on how pretty their son looked and how they looked totally feminine. While simultaneously, their Facebook accounts feature hunting trips, NASCAR, scripture quotations, and proud, defiant and conspicuous display of the rebel flag.  

What’s going on here? 

Well, maybe they truly see no irony. For them, dressing in drag for a womanless pageant is a fun frolic, a tradition, an innocent pastime having no relation to those heathen LGBT folks. It’s even a sort of rite of passage – I’ve seen more than one parent or grandparent congratulate their young’un on his “first” womanless pageant. (Implying that there will be more to come.)

But the lengths to which they take these things! I’ve corresponded with a fellow womanless beauty pageant enthusiast who has even attended some of these events and talked to some of the parents. Believe it or not, in the most extreme examples, they have worked for weeks on finding the perfect dress, experimenting with makeup, and drilling their son in pageant deportment. This is not something they throw together two days before the event – this is serious business to many!

I strongly suspect that many of the mothers who go all-out for these events are established “pageant Moms” who have daughters who compete. Then when it’s Johnny’s turn to be “prettied up,” they just apply the same level of intensity and attention to detail to their boys as they do to their girls. 

Or they may be “wannabes” – I’ve noted a few cases in which a Mom freely admitted that they had no daughters and despaired of ever having the fun of preparing their kin for a pageant – until their son’s school held such an event and they were able to lavish their machinations on him! Beauty pageants, especially child pageants are big in the Deep South – it should perhaps not be surprising that much of this enthusiasm and borderline fanaticism spills over into the womanless pageant world.

As for the realism of the femulations, that, too, may be explainable. 

Traditionally, the South has viewed their girls and women with an inordinate degree of chivalry, seeing them as precious gems to be honored and celebrated for their femininity. To lampoon girls in a womanless pageant with an exaggerated and homely burlesque of the “fairer sex” would be anathema to them. If their boys are going to portray girls for an evening, they will do so in a way that honors and celebrates their beauty and special status.

What about the young men and boys who don female garb for these events? Well, in the region in question, they seem to enjoy the experience for the most part. This doesn’t necessarily signify anything profound. Dressing up for a womanless pageant is not going to turn a boy trans, though it may help to confirm and solidify an existing propensity or desire to crossdress in someone who’s already wired that way and provides a safe and fun way to indulge those stirrings in a socially acceptable context.

However one theorizes about this phenomenon, it is a fascinating window on the unique and contradictory culture of Dixie!

(A big thank you to Stan Jones for the womanless pageant photos used in this post.)



Source: Rent the Runway
Wearing Keepsake.



A contestant in a recent womanless beauty pageant.

Why Femulate?

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Stana, 1976
Growing up, I was the neighborhood effeminate boy. I did not choose to be feminine; my feminine persona was natural, not an affection.

Whenever I acted on the advice to "man up," it felt so unnatural and uncomfortable that I invariably returned to my natural feminine ways, which were not a good fit for a young American male circa 1960. As a result, I was a favorite object of bullies and suffered through a lot of abuse in my youth. And having the breasts of a young woman did not help. My B-cups just added fuel to the fire being stoked by my peers.

In the early '60s, I became fascinated by the glamorous women who were no ladies, but rather female impersonators, as depicted in the 82 Club ads appearing in New York City newspapers. Eventually that fascination motivated me to began experimenting with female impersonation myself using my mother's and sister's wardrobes whenever I was home alone.

After honing my skills in private for almost half a decade, I had to let the girl out of the confines of the closet. So on Halloween 1969 I borrowed my sister's purple mini-dress, black mid-heel pumps, black tights, wiglet and knit beige cap. I wore minimal makeup. Although I had been wearing my mother's and sister's foundation garments in secret for years, I skipped the bra and girdle because I did not think they would appreciate me wearing such personal items.

I drove around town visiting a few friends and relatives, who were amused by my costume. I don't know if I passed, but I did not care. I was having the time of my life! All I cared about was that I was out in public living a few hours as the young woman I had discovered and nourished for the past few years.



Source: ShopBop
Wearing ONE by Honey Bunch.



Womanless wedding, circa 1950.
Womanless wedding, circa 1950.

Saturday night's alright for fighting

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Source: Intermix
Wearing Caroline Constas blouse, Frame slacks and Ericsson Beamon earrings.



All-male cast on stage in The Golden Girls.

Keys to the Queendom, too!

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Source: Intermix
Wearing Mercedes Salaza r earrings, Tabitha Simmons sandals, Ronny Kobo top and skirt.



Fred Kovert
Fred Kovert (right) in the 1925 silent film Chasing the Chaser.
SaveSave

Orlando

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Source: Ann Taylor
Wearing Ann Taylor.



Peter Outerbridge
Peter Outerbridge in the 1999 Canadian film Better Than Chocolate.

The Women of Transvestia

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Thanks to Linda, I recently gained access to 36 back issues of Transvestia published during the time that Virginia Prince was editing the periodical (1960 to 1980).

Transvestia was written by its readers and I am fascinated by the first person accounts contained in the magazine. Reading them, I realize how some things never change. The women of that era had the same fears and emotions that we have today.

Their experiences differed from ours because in that era, society abhorred crossdressing. In most places, you could be arrested for crossdressing. As a result, women were very closeted and only the very brave went out among the civilian population.

In addition to the first person accounts, I absolutely adore the photos that accompany the stories.

This was the era in which I was developing as a young woman, so I have an affinity for the fashions that the women wear in the photos. They usually are in their "Sunday best" because they are photo shooting with film and likely will only take a few shots, which they will sneak on a roll containing innocuous family photos. Unless they had a darkroom, they had to take the film to a camera shop or drug store to be developed and printed. Therefore, they had to look presentable so as not to arouse the suspicion of any civilians handling the film.

By the way, I know one woman who built her own darkroom so she could shoot and print photos of her feminine self to heart's content. I'm sure she was not alone.

In honor of the woman of Transvestia, I am posting a selection of their photos here today and in the future. I hope you will find their images as wonderful as I do.

Femulate via Transvestia
Audrey from New Jersey, 1961

Femulate via Transvestia
Ramblin' Barbara from Connecticut, 1961

Femulate via Transvestia
Carolyn from California, 1961

Femulate via Transvestia
Members of the Los Angeles "Hose and Heels Club," Carolyn, Nancy, Catheryn and Joan, 1961

Femulate via Transvestia
Catheryn mobile in California, 1961

Dee Ann from Ohio, 1961

Femulate via Transvestia
Smokin' Doreen from Massachusetts, 1961

Femulate via Transvestia
Gail from New York, 1961

Femulate via Transvestia
Gloria and her twin sister from Pennsylvania, 1961

Femulate via Transvestia
Jane from Kansas, 1961 (Is that her military portrait hanging on the wall?)

Femulate via Transvestia
Louise from Ohio, 1961

Femulate via Transvestia
Marilyn from California, 1961

Femulate via Transvestia
Another California girl, Mary, 1961

Femulate via Transvestia
New York's Susanna of Casa Susanna fame, 1961

Femulate via Transvestia
Transvestia cover girl, Terry, 1961

Femulate via Transvestia
Vicki from New York, 1961







The Rocky Twins
The Rocky Twins, Leif and Paal Roschberg, circa 1928

If Only...

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Source: Rent the Runway
Wearing Nicole Miller.



Lon Chaney
Lon Chaney (left) in the 1925 film The Unholy Three.

out yesterday

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I wrote the following over eight years ago. It is amazing how some things never change; then again, some things do!

I went out en femme yesterday.

I ran late, so I had to forgo my shopping plans and drove straight to the university where I did outreach at two Human Sexuality classes.

I want to look my best when I do outreach, so I usually dress up and yesterday was no exception. I wore my favorite dress (the leopard sash-tie wrap dress that I bought from Newport-News), favorite shoes (the Joy Baby Doll Pumps I bought at Payless), black tights, and my short white fake fur car coat. Needless to say, I was overdressed compared to most of the females (students and professors) on campus; I looked like a visitor on campus and that's what I was.

Females were in the majority in both classes; each class had about 25 students with two males in the earlier class and six in the later class.

Usually, the later afternoon class is less energetic, but that was not the case yesterday. Both classes were enthusiastic and asked a lot of questions. The second class even applauded us at the end!

Coincidentally, the two same questions that were never asked before came up in both classes:

One was, "How do you hide your genitalia?"

My answer was right out of my Wednesday blog: I wear a panty girdle to keep my genitalia in check. As I wrote on Wednesday, I tried a gaff, but discovered that it was very uncomfortable and that my male parts would escape frequently and required regaffing. The panty girdle did a much better job keeping those parts in place and was much more comfortable.

The other question was "Do you do hormones or have you had surgery?"

The answer was "no," but I assume the students asked because they thought I might do hormones and had surgery because they thought that it looked liked I had, which means I looked more womanly than the average guy in a dress. So, I took that question as a compliment.

After the first class, we walked to the Student Union for a bite to eat. I missed it, but everyone else commented on how another professor checked me out as we passed him in the hallway. I hate it when that happens and I miss it!

The women in the first class loved my shoes and after the class, a number of them asked me where I bought them. Also, the woman working the Dunkin' Donuts shop in the Student Union where I bought coffee and a flatbread sandwich complimented me on my retro necklace. I thanked her and pointed out my matching retro earrings.

I was tired by the end of the day, but surprisingly my feet did not hurt because my Baby Doll Pumps are so comfortable even with a three-inch heel.

It was another wonderful day out en femme and as always, I look forward to the next opportunity to be the woman I sometimes am.



Lucille Ball
Lucille Ball in 1941.



Julian Eltinge
Julian Eltinge in the 1914 film The Crinoline Girl.

Gamulating

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Fashions come and go and then they come back again. If you are old enough (like me), you have witnessed it yourself.

My mother taught me to wear hosiery (stockings or pantyhose) whenever I go out, so that's what I have done all my feminine life.

I have nice legs, but they are not perfect and hosiery hides some of the flaws. Hosiery also helps keep my legs warm when the weather does not, so I have never considered going without knee-highs, thigh-highs or pantyhose.

But as I went along on my merry way, I did not realize that younger women were abandoning hosiery and going out with their legs bared. I guess if you got it, flaunt it, but until I read somewhere that pantyhose sales were plummeting, I had no idea.

But pantyhose may be making a comeback, thanks to Princess Kate. The Princess has legs to die for and she wears hosiery most of the time, so some women have taken notice of that fashion fact and are gamulating Kate.

Fashion writer Alison Syrett is one of those women and she wrote about her experiences for Good Housekeeping in an interesting article titled "I Tried the Secret Behind Kate Middleton's Flawless Legs."

The article confirmed my feelings about wearing hosiery, but if you are unsure about baring or adorning your legs, I recommend reading this fun article.



Source: StyleWe
Wearing StyleWe.




Paddock, Atlantic City
Yes, she was a boy in Atlantic City in the mid-1960's.

Just another day at the office

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Source: Rent the Runway
Wearing Narciso Rodriguez.



Joie Tone
Joie Tone, mid-20th Century professional femulator

Happy Father's Day!

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Source: Rent the Runway
Wearing Theia.




Kim Burfield
Kim Burfield (center) in television's Journey to the Unknown (1968).

Give me a break!

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I am taking a week's vacation and will not post anything new during the break.

See you in a week!

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