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Chrissy

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85907256 On Saturdays, I am a housewife in boy mode. I do the laundry, dust and vacuum and go grocery shopping. This past Saturday, shopping for groceries was more interesting than usual.

After I filled my shopping cart at my favorite grocery store, I headed for the cashiers and got in the shortest line. While I unloaded my cart, I noted that my cashier was new. (I have been shopping at this store for over a year and recognize most of the personnel who work there, so I usually recognize any personnel who are new.)

Initially, I thought the cashier was a 20-something male. He was a large person, over 6 feet tall and 200 pounds. He had a short unisex hairdo and wore an oversized top that hid any gender clues that might have caused me to think he was female.

After I finished unloading my shopping cart, I was able to pay more attention to the cashier. I noted then that he was wearing more bling than you typically see on a cashier, male or female: large glittery silver earrings and a matching silver necklace. Then I noticed that his eyebrows were plucked and shaped into thin arches. And finally I saw his name tag which read "Chrissy."

Now I was sure that my cashier was not a male. But due to my initial impression that she was male, I thought she could be a transwoman. When she finally spoke, I was convinced she was trans. Her voice was feminine, but still had masculine traits that gave away her birth gender.

I could be wrong, but having gone around the transgender block a few times, my trans radar is pretty good and I am sure she is a transwoman. Of course, I said nothing to her about my thoughts, but I hope to see her again next Saturday.

 

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Street style during New York Fashion Week, February 2015.

 

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Central Mississippi Medical Center’s womanless beauty pageant contestant.


Lack of Womanless Veterans

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I was very surprised by the response to Saturday's post asking if any readers had participated in a civilian womanless beauty pageant, fashion show, wedding or other event.

I did not post anything new on Sunday and Saturday so as not to take attention away from my Saturday post hoping that it would draw more responses from readers who were womanless veterans. Yet, I only received two responses!

Insearchofme participated in an adult prom fundraiser. She "was all girly, loved it. Raised some money and had a great time."

Lisa was a veteran of something similar to a womanless event. When she was about 8-years-old, she attended a day camp that presented the musical Oklahoma. She was one of the chorus of boys made up like girls that sang I'm Just A Girl Who Can't Say No. "Don't know how I looked, but it felt great and started me on this long road..."

Personally, I have been in three womanless fashion shows, but all three were under the auspices of a transgender organization.

I never participated in a womanless event sponsored by a civilian organization, but I would have jumped at the opportunity if one ever came my way. And I would still do so today.

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Liz Winters interviews Stana during the Fantasia Fair Fashion Show in 2008.

 

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Source: ShopBop

Wearing Rebecca Taylor.

 

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Three femulators from the 1935 Philadelphia Mummers Parade.

Throwback Thursday: Not As Stuck

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Susan of Transitioning into Tomorrow fame suggested that "it would be interesting if you repost some of your older posts and then comment on them as Stana 2015. Has your life, appearance and/or thoughts changed since then?"

I like Susan's idea and since she suggested that I revisit my December 12, 2007 post, "Stuck At Home" as an example, that is what I am going to do.

Here is the original post:

My dear friend Diana often e-mails me to ask if I would like to go out en femme with her. I turn her down more often than I accept her invitation.

Diana is single and lives as a woman full-time. I am married and live as a woman part-time.

Most of the time, I am in male mode because my wife married a man and prefers me in boy mode. She dislikes it when I am in girl mode and to keep the peace, I agreed that I only do the girly thing on a limited basis.

I am in male mode most of the time also because my employer hired a man and might not be too happy if I showed up at work in a dress and heels on days that don't end the month of October.

When Diana wants to go out, she opens the door and she is out (lucky girl!). When I want to go out, it is more complicated. I need two hours at a minimum to transform from boy mode to girl mode. And if it is an evening outing, that means leaving work early to get ready.

Since there are a number of complications in my girl life, I have to pick and choose my en femme outings and as a result, I have to turn Diana down more often than I would like. I just hope she doesn't get tired of my rejections and stops asking!

Here is my 2015 take on that 2007 post:

The situation is basically the same with my wife. When I am with her either at home or away, I am in boy mode. However, when I am away without her, girl mode is always an option.

The situation at work has changed for the better since 2007. I came out to Human Resources, my manager, my supervisor and a few of my co-workers. Most were surprised, but my supervisor having witnessed most of my Halloween office girl "costumes" said she was not surprised. The powers that be at work have encouraged me to dress appropriately for my transgender, but I have not taken them up on that yet because I have hesitated talking to my wife about it.

Regarding my need for "two hours at a minimum to transform from boy mode to girl mode," that has also changed for the better. I can usually get ready in an hour more or less assuming that I have maintained a hairless status for my body parts that show.

And my appearance has changed for the better. I am definitely more expert at makeup application and I believe that my fashion sense has improved a little, too. (By the way, the accompanying selfie was taken a few days before I wrote that 2007 post.)

Finally, Diana is a very good friend and still asks me to join her on en femme outings despite my many rejections.

 

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Source: MyHabit

Wearing Valentino.

 

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Not your father’s men’s club meeting.

How to Get Your Parents to Let You Wear Girls Clothes

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How-To-Get-Your-Parents-to-Let-You-Wear-Girls-Clothes-wikiHow I was Googling something or other and encountered wikiHow's "How to Get Your Parents to Let You Wear Girls Clothes."

"If your [sic] a teen boy who likes to wear girls [sic] clothing or accessories (maybe both?) and have a hard time getting your parents to understand, read on and maybe this article can help."

Wow! I could have used that how-to when I was dressing as a very closeted girl back in the mid-1960s!

In the past, I have seen other topics related to femulating on wikiHow and I wondered what other related topics I could find. I discovered a treasure trove of useful ones and listed my findings below in two broad categories "social" and "technique."

By the way, one wikiHow that was missing and on my wikiHow suggestion list is "How to Get Your Wife to Let You Wear Women's Clothes!"

Social

Technique

 

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Source: HauteLook
Wearing French Connection.

 

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Not your father’s business suit.

Jae’s Favorite Photo (of Jae!)

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Jae_Tg_www Please excuse the rather fuzzy out-of-focus photograph. I don’t have very many, as I have never really got the hang of taking a selfie. I took the photograph of my reflection in the bathroom mirror after returning from a party. Earlier in the day I had had my hair cut and styled by my regular stylist at my local hair salon.

This is my favorite photograph, as I believe it shows the real me. No wig, not much makeup and I see the real person I am, not the rather odd male I have to pretend to be most of the time.

My open invitation to post your favorite photo along with the story behind it and the reason it is your favorite photo still stands, so don't be shy, send me your fave foto

 

 

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Source: MyHabit

Wearing JB by Julie Brown.

 

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Actor Ben Whishaw (center) playing Georgette in the 2012 film Cloud Atlas.

Bossy Pants

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Source: MyHabit

Wearing Lot 78.

 

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Not your father’s barber shop.

Patty's Favorite Photo (of Patty!)

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Thanks for sharing the wonderful collection of favorite photos.

Here is one of my favorites.

My femulator friend Monika, on the right, came up with the idea that I should invite her friend, who happened to be my boss Linda, to join us at the DeYoung Museum in San Francisco. Knowing that she would be accompanying two femulators, my boss decided she had to wear a skirt.

She was right! She had to wear a skirt. It's great working in a place where a boss can enjoy a day out with her femulating colleagues and be inspired by them to dress in a feminine style.

This is my favorite image because it reminds me that I am accepted by friends and co-workers when I appear as Patty.

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My open invitation to post your favorite photo along with the story behind it and the reason it is your favorite photo still stands, so don't be shy, send me your fave foto.






Source: ideel

Wearing BCBGMAXAZRIA.







Singer Bill Kaulitz

Not Being Catty

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The Oscars were on television Sunday night, but after spending over two hours moving the eight inches of snow that fell overnight, I was very tired and decided my beauty rest was more important than watching the beauties on the television. As a result, I did not make any effort to stay up beyond my normal bedtime to watch the whole show.

And since I missed over half the show, I don't feel qualified to be catty like I was for the Grammy awards earlier this month.

I did catch a few of the gowns the ladies wore and I particularly liked Reese Witherspoon's white and black off shoulder Tom Ford gown. I can see myself in something like that, although I can't think of any upcoming occasion I will be attending that would call for an evening gown.

My law school is holding a local get-together to give the Connecticut alumni an opportunity to meet the new president of the school. I thought about attending if the weather is cooperative (it has not been very cooperative lately), but I won't need an evening gown for that reception. I think that even a cocktail dress would be too much. However, I am sure I can find something in my wardrobe that would be appropriate.

And so it goes.






Source: Bebe

Wearing Bebe.






Actor Candy Darling.


Keep on High Heelin’

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IMG_0838psablog CBS Sunday Morning had an interesting piece about high heels and their history as recounted in the Brooklyn (NY) Museum's "Killer Heels" exhibition. (Thank you, Diana, for the heads-up.)

In my youth, I felt that I was not dressed unless I was wearing high heels. I wore high heels as often as possible and the higher the better.

I was following my mother's lead (like mother, like son) ― she always wore heels. So as her female son, I always wore high heels, too.

In my maturity, I know about the pitfalls of wearing high heels and I know that wearing high heels does not define you as a woman. Most women my age know better and shun heels, yet they are still women.

Nevertheless, I still like to wear high heels and I usually do. Recalling that AARP commercial about a woman of a certain age who knows her way around miniskirts and can run in high heels always inspires me to keep on high heelin'.

But since my feet are not as pliable as they used to be, I have to search out the most comfortable heels if I plan to wear them for more than a few hours as a time.
(Who What Wear recently had some good tips regarding "How to Stand in Heels for 8 Hours Without Killing Your Feet.")

I hope to be able to continue to wear high heels for a long time. I know I will try hard to do so. And maybe someday they'll say, "She died with her stilettos on."

 

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Source: Bebe

Wearing Bebe.

 

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Fashion designer Phillipe Blond

Throwback Thursday: Passing?

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Passing Jackie at The Museum of Modern Art

I have written about passing a few times during the life of this blog and in July 2009, I wrote the following on the topic:

This morning, I read a message thread on a trans message board which touched upon the subject of passing. One writer opined that trans people put too much emphasis on passing... that passing is not important... that acceptance is more important than passing... yadda yadda yadda.

I'm sure you have heard these arguments before (and I know I touched upon them here in the past).

Note: I am now putting on devil's advocate hat.

I think that some trans people use the argument (that passing is not important) as a cop-out because for whatever reason, they do not pass.

In addition to being an excuse, it is also a put-down of trans people who do pass, i.e, yes, they pass, but what they are doing is not important, so they are just wasting their time.

I resent that!

I take a lot of pride in my presentation and I admit that it takes some time and effort to get the results I want, but I feel that it is worth it because:

* I pass some of the time, which is a wonderful affirmation of my hard work.

* When I don't pass, at least I don't look like a caricature of a woman. Rather, I look like I am trying my best to emulate a woman and I believe that fosters acceptance.

***

My opinion on passing has not changed much since 2009.

I prefer passing to not passing, but it does not ruin my day if I don't pass. Yet, I still take pride in my presentation, work hard at it and hope that I will pass.

When I go out, I assume I will pass because:

  • I usually do pass or
  • I am invisible, that is, I am an old lady, so no one pays much attention to me, which is as good as passing. Since I don't see any reaction, I am clueless about what others are thinking, so I assume I pass.

If I don't pass, usually the person who sees through my presentation does not react in a outrageously negative manner and I can live with that. And persons who have reacted outrageously have been so rare that I don't worry about it.

As a result, I am so confident as I head out the door in my female finery that passing is not a concern. It is not something I worry about as I go about my day as a woman. And if I receive an indication that I definitely passed, I cherish the moment and use it as a confidence builder.

And so it goes.

 

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Claimed to be father and son femulators.

Miss Eng’g 2015

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Miss Engineering (Miss Eng'g, for short), one of the premiere womanless beauty pageants, will be held on March 6 at the College of Engineering, University of Philippines-Diliman. The Miss Engineering Facebook page already has photographs documenting the pageant including an album of spectacular evening gown photos (samples above and below).

Wow!

(Thank you, Cheryl, for the heads-up about the Miss Eng'g pageant.)

 

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Source: Julie Brown

Wearing Julie Brown.

 

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Contestant in the 2015 Miss Eng’g womanless beauty pageant.

Fernanda’s Favorite Photos (of Fernanda!)

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Fernanda prefaced her story with, “Since my native language is Spanish, my English is bad, I hope to be understood.” Despite the language barrier, I think Fernanda got her point across, so here is her story exactly as she wrote it.

A few years ago, I met a woman at a meeting of TV's, talking a little, she asked me since when I felt my feminine side, I said, since I can remember. Then I asked a question, and so spent two hours of questions and answers. Finally he asked me that almost did not attend the meeting, I said that what happened is that I liked going to the movies, concerts and dining at restaurants. Then she asked me why not go out the next time I was in Mexico City.

My next trip to Mexico City, beautifully dressed decided to leave on Friday, as almost always do. I remembered this friend's invitation, and I sent him a message, she replied that we met at 7 PM in cinema the Chopo.

As it was Friday traffic was all chaos, in other words I was late, how good this other friend waited for me, but we could not go to the movies. When you get to my car, I said we could not go to the movies because she had an appointment at 10 PM. I told him if he wanted to take her home, thanked me, but then I said, let's Liverpool (department store) because I have to buy a gift for my daughter's teacher, it's your birthday.

This is the first time I walked into a store, I get nerves but I want to. We parked the car and walked toward the elevators. When we walked into the store, there were a lot of people, I did not even 10 steps and you had the confidence to walk like my whole life had gone to the store in my favorite clothes. We went to the section bags, had a good time watching them and commenting, look at this this big but really not worth much--this is not leather, but it seems.-- etc. She finally settled on an ocher color, although it was small, you could fit several things.

We went to the register to pay, my friend paid in cash, the cashier took the woman's purse and put it in a bag, my friend took it and we turned around, like many people, we got in single file.

I back at it I hear the cashier tells me, Miss, do not turn and again said Miss, I turned and motioned me toward change, fast back and received it, thanked him. I caught my friend and gave her the change.

As we were leaving and I thought I should take some pictures in Liverpool, I told my friend, hey, go to the first floor and I take a picture on the railing to look downstairs background. We went and stood on the railing and took my picture. I saw the lingerie department and quick and I said, take me one photo in the lingerie, she said was fantastic and CLICK photo on the lingerie department.

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On leaving Liverpool, told are 9PM, I'll take you home, she said no, we go to a bar around here and we had a drink, I turned to excite and told OK. We left the car in the parking lot and walked to the Bar.

We went in and the waiter ask us how many? Only two she said, come over here ladies. He had quite a few people, my friend ordered tequila and I'm a daiquiri and we started talking.

She gave me some tips, particularly, how should dress a woman my age, what are the distinctly feminine gestures, such as putting the arms to eat etc. At the final, take two drinks each. I asked for the bill, then she told me, is practically a pact among women, when out to eat or drink the cup, everyone always pay your bill, so we did.

Since we paid, I asked the waiter if we could take a picture.

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My open invitation to post your favorite photo along with the story behind it and the reason it is your favorite photo still stands, so don't be shy, send me your fave foto.

 

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Source: Light in the Box

Wearing Light in the Box.

 

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Actor Alex Newell in television’s Glee, 2009.

Blue Boy

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Source: Roman Originals

Wearing Roman Originals.

 

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Britney Smith

Britney Smith

On the Tube

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Facebook friend Bryan McCloskey alerted me to a YouTube clip of Bryan and his spouse Debbie appearing on The Ricki Lake Show where they discussed their unconventional marriage. (You may recall that I wrote about Bryan here three years ago.)

Cheryl alerted me to an excellent femulation on YouTube: three singers, Aleksey Matias, Artem Mekh and Vadim Oleynik performing on a Ukraine television show, Yak Dvì Kraplì. The trio performed a parody of the song Diamonds while dressed to kill in evening gowns, high heels, elaborate makeup and big hair. They looked very convincing; see them for yourself here. By the way, the MC of the show appeared in less-convincing drag at the beginning of the YouTube clip.






Source: MyHabit

Wearing Melissa Masse.







Actors Ben Huber, Nick Mills and Matt McGrath on stage in The Legend of Georgia McBride, 2014.

Sisters Act

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That is actor Eddie Redmayne in the photo above femulating in the film The Danish Girl in which he plays Einar Wegener/Lili Elbe, a Danish artist who was an early sex reassignment surgery patient.

As in the past, whenever a non-transgender person gets the role of a transgender person, there is a hue and cry from the transgender community complaining that a transgender actor/actress should have gotten the role. And so it goes with the non-trans Redmayne portraying Einar Wegener/Lili Elbe.

I have no complaint about hiring a non-trans person to play a trans role. If I was casting a film, I would want the best actors/actresses to be in my film whether or not their personal life experience matched that of the film’s characters. If there was a match that would be icing on the cake, but if not, that’s where the ability of an actor to play a role takes over.

And as a member of the audience, I want my money’s worth; I want to see the best performances that money can buy up on the big screen, not an amateurish production featuring authentic transpeople or cowboys or cops or snipers. Have you ever sat through a film featuring any of Warhol’s trans trio, Candy, Holly, and Jackie? I rest my case.

My complaint about the casting of transgender roles is using females to play transwomen and vice versa, using males to play transmen. For the sake of authenticity, male actors should play transwomen and female actresses should play transmen.

Who is a more authentic transwoman: the pretty and petite Felicity Huffman in Transamerica or the large of frame, six-foot-one Jeffrey Tambor in Transparent? The audience has to suspend disbelief, i.e., that Huffman is a cisgender woman in order to accept her as a pre-op transsexual, whereas it is easy for the audience to buy into Tambor’s masculine roots.

On the other hand, if any film company decides to do Femulate: The Movie, then all bets are off!






Source: MatchesFashion
 
Wearing Max Mara.







Actor Peter Sellers in the 1962 British film Lolita.

Snow Day

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There will be no new content here today because I have been preoccupied dealing with the snow.

Frozen

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By Paula Gaikowski


Stana noted recently that Wednesday’s column had fell victim to the snow here in New England. Being a sister Yankee and dealing with the record snowfalls this year, I can relate and decided to help out with content by penning a story about a recent outing here in Massachusetts.

Towards the end of January after several storms had dumped 2 to 3 feet each on us, I was ready for some girl time. I was tired of snow boots and ski pants and wanted to trade them in for a cute pair of riding boots and pantyhose.

It was a Friday in late January and we had a heavy snowfall the day before. That day we were forecasted to get 2 to 3 inches, not intimidating at all for this girl, so I decided to make a run to the Burlington Mall and just do some shopping.

I wore my tweed skirt from my Pendleton suit, a beige knit top, riding boots and black tights. What a pleasant relief to be all prettied up. There truly is a joy that takes over my heart as I get ready and watch myself become a woman. Sadness and stress melts away and I notice this woman smiling back from the mirror as I scurry around looking for lipstick or an earring.

I stopped at Dunkin’ Donuts for coffee, walked inside instead of using the drive-thru and got coffee. So boring ― just a woman on her way to work. I remember a few years ago it would have taken a legion of courage to go inside and then I would have been so flustered that I would have run home.
I don’t have that problem anymore for several reasons. One is confidence and that comes from number two, which is an improved overall presentation ― hair, makeup, clothes, and deportment. Third is acceptance and attitude; I truly have accepted the fact that I am transgender and do not see it as an issue that can be used against me.

Before I go out as a woman, I sit quietly for a while and reflect. I visualize myself as a woman, who is post-transition with years of experience living and working as a female. I tell myself this is who I am now. This frees me.

Off like a prom dress, I rode through the lightly falling snow to the Burlington Mall. Because of the snow the day before and the light snow that day, the mall was relatively empty. When I walked up to the M·A·C counter, I had my choice of makeup artists. The first to help was Rachael, pretty, trendy and vivacious.

The makeover itself was so much fun. I told her to ask me any question she wanted to as I was happy to educate her about transgender people. I got into the chair at 10:20 and was done at 12:30. We talked about everything. She asked me questions about growing up transgender, being married, what it felt like to have experienced being a woman for the first time. She asked me about dating, men and sexuality. We also talked M·A·C and makeup. I learned so much as I always do when I go to M·A·C.

Typically you schedule makeovers in advance; Rachael wasn’t busy so she just went for it. I made sure to buy over $60 of makeup and also quietly tipped Rachael $20.

With no time left to shop, I had to rush home before I turned back into Cinderella.

It was a sure way to beat the winter blues and get away from shoveling. I recommend a visit to your local M·A·C counter wholeheartedly. If you can’t it make it out, take some time to dress up at home and make yourself pretty. Spring is coming!






Source: Anthropologie

Wearing Anthropologie.



Lili Elbe, circa 1930.

And Then Some

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Source: HauteLook

Wearing Von Ronen.

 

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Womanless beauty pageant selfie.

Elle’s Favorite Photos (of Elle!)

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Well here goes.

As a teen, I would put on my Ma’s things, but did not really understand why. Then came the Army and marriage. I did not dress then, because I did not want to ruin my marriage.

I lost my wife a little over eight years ago to cancer. Though feeling guilty, I started to gather outfits and started dressing. Then came the makeup and wigs.

Still in the closets for the first year, but knowing I needed to get out. Finally had the courage to go out, first to gay clubs. But with the encouragement of other girls, started going mainstream.

I now dress 3 to 5 days a week, and enjoy shopping, lunch with the girls, dining and drinks on Fridays, shows, concerts, and even bowling, en femme.

Elle

My open invitation to post your favorite photo along with the story behind it and the reason it is your favorite photo still stands, so don't be shy, send me your fave foto. ― Stana

 

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Source: SimplyBe

Wearing Gok Wan.

 

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New York University fraternity brother performs in the Delta Lambda Phi drag show.

Try Again

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Source: Rent the Runway

Wearing Christian Siriano.



Ricky Renee, professional femulator, circa 1967.

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