Cyrsti wrote about " breast size obsessions in cross dressers and transgender women"yesterday, which got me thinking about my "girls."

I never obsessed about having big breasts.

I was cursed/blessed with feminine breasts. In boy mode, I obsessed about hiding them. But in girl mode, I was proud of my natural breasts. I was happy with their size, so I never wore any padding or falsies (unless I was trying to squeeze my breasts together for enhanced cleavage).

The only problem is that for decades, I wore the wrong size bra --- a size too small. My bra was was making my breasts appear smaller than their natural size.

When I finally submitted to a bra fitting by a professional, I discovered the error of my ways and began wearing the correct size bras, which displayed my breasts as nature had intended.

All good except some tops and dresses that used to fit the flatter-chested me, no longer fitted the more bosomy me, but such is life!

Wearing Diane von Furstenberg.

Actor Michael Andrews femulating in that television movie Murder Me, Murder You (1983).

David asked about New York City's 82 Club, which was also known as Club 82, which was a nightclub in Manhattan that featured female impersonators in the 1950s and 1960s. The Club played an important part in my personal herstory.

Pre-teen, the only female impersonation I was familiar with was the Milton Berlesque type, that is, female impersonation played up for laughs with no attempt at true femulation. I wanted to be a female, not a joke, so I was not interested in that type of impersonation.

Then I discovered the weekly thumbnail Club ads in the back of the sports section of the New York Daily News. Each ad depicted a glamorous showgirl accompanied by the caption "Who's No Lady?"

I was amazed that guys could look like those gals! That type of female impersonation definitely interested me and soon I began experimenting with female impersonation myself and was well on my way to boarding the Good Ship Lollipop.

David asked for information regarding the Club and I was happy to pass along some Internet links.

Here is the link to my 82 Club/Club 82 postcard collection:

https://sites.google.com/site/femulate/Home/my-ephemera/new-york-city-female-impersonator-ephemera

Here are other pertinent 82 Club/Club 82  links:

http://queermusicheritage.com/fem-cl82.html

http://bedfordandbowery.com/2014/01/wed-found-this-cave-out-of-time-a-look-back-at-glam-rocks-club-82/

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/wayne-anderson/hidden-history-tobi-marsh_b_1592620.html

http://streetsyoucrossed.blogspot.com/2005/09/what-drag-too-many-snags.html

Wearing Tahari by ASL.

Actor Michael Andrews femulating in the 1987 film Hard Ticket To Paradise.

Recent random images that interested me.

Vogue contributing editor, Lauren Santo Domingo photographed at London Fashion Week earlier this month. I don’t know how tall she is, but she sure looks tall in this photo – “femulator tall” if you know what I mean.

Students crossdress in Spain during Carnival, as illustrated by this 2012 photo. (Every day is Carnival for some of us!)

An interesting photo from an e-mailed Brahmin advertisement. What part of the outfit is unisexual? (I love the skirt, by the way.)

Skirts for everyone was all the rage in London for about three minutes during the 1960’s. (The hairy legs of the miniskirted fellow reminded the chap in the white sweater  that he should have shaved his face closer that morning.)

In my opinion, the web site of Madeleine, the British online clothing retailer, consistently has excellent photos for displaying the clothing they sell. Have any Femulate readers actually purchased clothing from Madeleine? If so, what is your opinion of their womenswear?

Finally, here is one more photo of actor Michael A. Andrews femulating in the 1985 film Malibu Express. I saw the film a few times very late at night on local cable television. I don’t recall much of the plot except the part where Andrews crossdresses in the back of her chauffered limousine to go to a nightclub to meet another femulator for drinks. You can view that part of the film here.

And while I have your attention, there was another film that I saw on cable a few times that I have been unable to track it down. It was a circa 1990 British film that interested me because part of the plot involves various male characters attending a big drag party.

One scene that sticks in my mind are automobiles pulling up to the site of the party to drop off the crossdressed attendees. A couple of policeman are standing by and when one of the “girls” gets dropped off, the policeman acknowledge her with, “Good evening, Captain” or some similar title of authority.

Does anyone know the name of the film?

What is it with women and shoes? I dunno, but I am a fan and own about 100 pairs. A few flats, a few boots, and the rest heels.

High heels were the second women’s garment that I ever tried on. Nylon stockings were the first. One thing led to another and after trying on a pair of Mommy’s nylons, I had to try on a pair of her high heel pumps to see how my nylon-clad legs looked in heels. (They looked spectacular!)

Although I am not Italian and no longer a girl, I enjoyed reading Sara Porro’s “The Italian Girl’s Guide to Walking in Heels.” I think you will enjoy it, too.

Girls occasionally ask me where to buy large size women’s shoes. I compiled a list a few years ago, however, it may be out of date today (if I could find it).To the rescue comes Alexzander of House of Alexzander fame with a current list of large size women’s shoe sources.

Regarding Alexzander’s list, I only have experience with one source on the list: Payless. I concur with Alexzander’s take on that shoe, but wish to add that Payless does have shoes from fashion designers (like Christian Siriano), whose shoe designs are not always “basic.”

And by the way, when does a flat become a heel? If a flat has a heel, is it still a flat?

Wearing Red Valentino.

Male model Alex Wetter.

Four times, I have attended One Big Event, an annual formal dinner-dance. It is a fundraiser for a local gay and lesbian organization (Hartford Gay & Lesbian Health Collective) and affords an opportunity for everyone to dress to the nines… guys in tuxedos and gals in gowns (or vice versa) dining on rubber chicken and dancing to loud music.

First two times I attended, the event was held in a hotel and the ticket cost $100.

The third time I attended, they moved to a bigger venue, a convention center and the ticket price was bumped up to $125. The ticket still cost $125 last year, but this year, they bumped the price up to $150!

It is bad enough that they bumped up the price for no apparent reason, but I never felt very welcome by the folks running the event. The absence of a T in the name of the organization should have been a red flag.

Two years ago, the organization attempted to segregate the attending transgender women to a separate bathroom! Can you believe it? I found it unconscionable that a gay and lesbian organization would be so insensitive to transgender folks.

And each year, the organization’s photographer makes the rounds and takes photos of all the attendees including the transgender folks. And each year, the group manages to exclude photos of transgender folks from the photo slideshow of the event that appears on their website.

Just a coincidence, maybe, but the local newspaper that covers the event every year always includes photos of transgender folks in their report (my photo has appeared twice!).

I guess the newspaper is more open-minded than the gay and lesbian organization, which just takes our money and runs. Maybe I will take my money and run somewhere else.

Street style during Paris Fashion Week Spring 2015.

Actor Ned Birkin femulating in the 1993 British film The Cement Garden. When a male visitor asks why the young boy is dressing like a girl, his sister responds, “Girls can wear jeans and cut their hair short, wear shirts and boots, because it's OK to be a boy, but for a boy to look like a girl is degrading, because you think that being a girl is degrading. But secretly you'd love to know what it's like, wouldn't you? What it feels like for a girl?”

Tuesday evening, I watched a new television show, a sort of a modern day My Fair Lady or Pygmalion, titled Selfie.

Here is its plot according to IMDb: "After being the subject of an embarrassing viral video, a self-involved 20-something enlists the help of a marketing expert to revamp her image in the real world."

Before her revamping, the young woman's wardrobe featured tight micro-miniskirts, revealing blouses, and sky-high heels with makeup and hairdo that reflected her wardrobe. She reminded me of some of my trans sisters and I admit that I saw some of myself in her image.

It got me thinking about my image. Is it not lady-like? Is it too immature? Too slutty? Too transy?

I can hear some of you responding, "Yes, yes, yes, yes!" But I am not so sure. I believe I am lady-like in general, but a little "if you got it, flaunt it" in a Kate Middleton way.

Just in case, I perused the Internet for assistance and turned up a couple of websites that can fine-tune being a lady: "Ten Tips for Being a Modern Lady" by Taryn Cox on The Daily Love and a wikiHow titled "How to Be a Lady."

Wearing Madeleine.

Grayson Perry, artist and femulator

By Paula Gaikowski

Those were the words Bob Dylan belted out as baby boomers came of age and began to question the social order, while I at 10-years-old had a secret. The world was erupting outside, a country divided by war, freedom protests, and flower power. With this as my soundtrack, I stood in my room alone and confused, dressed in my sister’s clothes, staring into the mirror trying to make sense of these feelings. The freedom train was rolling, but it would be a long time before transgender people would get on board.

This past weekend was New England autumn at its best. It was cool and the foliage was brilliant the sun shined brightly and the scent of fallen leaves wafted thru the air. As I gathered with old friends at a lakeside cabin, it was exciting to reconnect and hear where life was taking them. One young lady who I had watched grow up over the years was now in grad school studying to be a speech pathologist. She came over for a visit and was enthusiastic and passionate about her chosen career. As she ticked off the different clients she had worked with I listened politely.

I perked up when she said “Perhaps, the best group I worked with were transgender.”

When I heard this I subconsciously thought all eyes would be on me, so I remained unresponsive and kept quiet for fear I might pass some innocent remark that could out me, such as, “I want to be a woman, help me, please!”

In all seriousness, what followed was a thoughtful conversation by the group of about eight people. What struck me was the lack of surprise by those present; hardly a progressive group, they all understood what being transgender meant and seemed genuinely interested in the young woman’s work with them. She even mentioned that this would be a positive addition to her resume because there was a growing demand. One person even mentioned a colleague who had a transgender daughter.

Transgender awareness has turned a corner. In this case professionals such as speech pathologists are receiving training for this recognized condition as part of their standard curriculum and a group of average people listened with encouraging interest. I contrast this with the views of the 1960s when the only terms for transgender persons were derogatory and we were the punch line for off-colored jokes and fodder for tabloids.

It’s encouraging to see all these positive changes and I am glad they happened in my lifetime. I wish they had happened sooner. It’s easy to play the game of “what might have been.” However, I have evolved to a point I never thought possible and have reached a level of self acceptance that gives me peace.

And that brings to mind the words of another 60s anthem.

“You can't always get what you want. But if you try sometimes, you just might find you get what you need.”

Wearing Alexis.

Manuel Arte femulates Jane Russell and Frankie Kein femulates Marilyn Monroe
at Faces in Santa Monica, California, 1986

I have had a difficult time getting back on track after my vacation last week. As a result, posts here have been late. Instead of appearing at the crack of dawn (East Coast time), mid-morning or high noon has been more like it.

Fantasia Fair begins in 16 days and I am not as organized for it as I'd like to be. My Oz costume is still in a state of flux. I am not sure which outfits to bring. I have two workshops to prepare for. And do I want to perform in the Follies and/or do I want to model in the fashion show this year?

Trying to get in the groove, Jackson, a tooth issue and emergency dentist visit on Tuesday did not help.

Other Fumbles

During vacation, I started reading Fear and Loathing at Rolling Stone: The Essential Writing of Hunter S. Thompson and that has put me in an introspective mood.

Halloween is a “casual Friday” this year!

Diana's comments on my Take the Money and Run post indicate that the Hartford Gay & Lesbian Health Collective seem more supportive of transgender folks today than in the past, but $150 is still a little too rich for my blood.

Anybody recognize Dave Foley in my Being a Modern Lady post on Wednesday? His career intrigues me. He was the best femulator on Kid in the Hall and has been sort of typecast ever since playing other roles that involve femulation. Lucky guy!

Wearing Louis Vuitton.

Actor/comedian Dave Foley femulating in television’s Kid in the Hall.

It is hard to believe that in two weeks, I will be on the road on my way to Cape Cod to live authentically as a female full-time for a week. Past experience has taught me that Fantasia Fair week flies by and I will soon be returning home to live unauthentically as a male full-time for most of the time, so I will try to relish every female moment while I am in Provincetown.

If you are going to Fantasia Fair, I hope I will meet you there. I will be easy to find. Not because I will be the tallest woman in town (I won't be), but because I will be doing two workshops during the Fair.

On Tuesday afternoon, my so-called "Femulate Blog Party" will take place at 3 PM at the Boatslip. It will be a gathering of readers, followers and interested parties of the Femulate blog for the purpose of meeting all the femulators in person and to discuss the fine art of femulating.

Then on Thursday morning, I will join Jan Brown at 10 AM at the Boatslip where we will conduct a workshop called "Things You Can Do When You're All Dressed Up" and share our experiences about getting out into the wide world as females.

If you miss me at either workshop, I will attend most of the other big events during the week, specifically all the evening events and most, if not all of the weekday Keynote Addresses.

You will have the advantage over me, that is, you know what I look like, but I am clueless about what most of you look like, so if you see me, please say "Hello."

Actor Edward Everett Horton femulating in his first stage appearance, circa 1900.

After a rather exhausting week, I sat down in front of the television Friday evening to relax by watching a film. I browse the Dish Network listings and did not find anything familiar that I wanted to watch, so I dug a little deeper into the listings to see if anything caught my eye.

John Cusack is one of my favorite actors and I found him in a 2013 film titled Adult World. I had never of the film, but the description sounded interesting. Here is the plot description from Wikipedia (annotated by me):

"Recent college graduate Amy (Emma Roberts) believes she's destined to be a great poet, but instead winds up working at an adult bookstore. She meets one of her favorite poets, Rat Billings (John Cusack), and becomes his protégé."

So I gave it a go and found it enjoyable and surprised when about 20 or 30 minutes into the film, a transgender woman named Rubia (played by Armando Riesco, photo above) enters the story.

A few minutes later, the phone rings. Some perps broke into the cars in my sister's neighborhood and she asked me to move her car to a safer place (she can't do it herself because she is hospitalized). So I did her bidding and missed the rest of the film.

I added Adult World to my Netflix queue in case I don't catch on the Dish again.

Wearing Julia Jordan.

Actor Abe Tsuyoshi femulating in the Japanese television drama Moon Lovers (2010).

The following in a transwoman’s bucket list, that is, things to do in your life as a woman.

Anything to add?

By the way, I have already done some of the things on the list, while others are still on my to-do list and a few, I have no interest in doing, but I included them for those who might have an interest.

Dance Come out to everyone Travel by air Permanent body hair removal Go on a date Make-out Compete in a womanless beauty pageant Make love Live full-time 24/7 Wear a bikini and look good doing it Be a bride Grow my hair long Go to a hair salon to get a feminine hairdo Pluck my eyebrows Go to the mall Attend a cocktail party Use the ladies' restroom Attend a black-tie event Go out to eat Shop for shoes Go to a casino Go to a movie Drive a car Get castrated Flirt Get a makeover Dress shopping Get a manicure and pedicure Girls' night out with genetic females Speak with a convincing feminine voice Go to Fantasia Fair Go to a concert  Go to a transgender convention Go to church Model in a fashion show Attend female-only/oriented events Perform on stage Go to work

Wearing inpluslady.

Actor/comedian Bill Hader (courtesy of Elaine Armen).

By Michelle

We know our weakness, don’t we? Once we are dressed, someone only has to think about taking a photo and we find ourselves automatically preening our hair and checking our make-up – it’s in our genes!

In previous articles, I have explained how I asked friends if I could show them photos of me dressed - and then warned them that if they said “yes,” they might be there for some time. I like to think I’m under control in this aspect of my hobby, but nonetheless, I don’t think I’ll ever refuse to show photos to anyone who shows the slightest interest – normally following heavy hinting on my part.

Having said all that, I am usually very disappointed at the way I present in photos – usually looking very fed up and if posing, I forget to smile or if I do, it usually looks rather forced.

Like most of us, I have a portfolio of pictures, but I can honestly say that I would only want to show about 10% of them. Which is why when a photo does come out well, I treasure it.

The photo I attach with this article is my all-time favourite, although, as I say, it doesn’t have too many to beat. I like it because it isn’t posed and I’m obviously having a good time. However, as I was performing a karaoke version of a Three Degrees song with two other girls at the time, I’m not sure others in the room were enjoying the moment quite as much!

I know that Stana takes selfies to check her outfit and make-up before going out, and that seems sensible. However, I’m usually in such a hurry that organising myself to take a photo is usually beyond my time management capabilities. As a result, I normally judge the best I can by looking in the mirror – and some mistakes can go unnoticed as I go forth into the outside world.

Looking at this photo, though, I think I got away with it on this occasion. I’m really pleased with my make-up, especially my lipstick which seems to have stayed in the right place, and I think matches my dress well. As it was at Christmas, the bright, shiny red effect is appropriate. The necklace and earrings go well for me and the contrasting tights and watch set it off well. I must have been in a hurry, because I wish I’d have applied some nail varnish, which would have added a little more to the effect.

This is how I like to see myself when I’m out and although I know I don’t usually manage it, it’s fun trying to recreate the look and it’s also good to have a photo to remind me of when I did.

Has anyone else got a favourite picture of herself, which they can “show and tell?”

“Miss P. R. Morgan” femulating in The Timbertown Follies in The Netherlands, circa 1916.

"My job is to make men look like women" is an interesting interview with Jodie Lynn, a London makeup artist "who has dedicated her career to helping men reveal the woman within..." Written by Cassie Powney, the piece appears on the Cosmopolitan UK website.

I found the article personally interesting because I have been following some of Jodie's femulation techniques for years. For example, I thought she was channeling me when she talked about wigs and her lip-plumping procedure is exactly the same procedure I use to femulate my lips.

Wednesday morning, I did not need coffee to start me up when I perused my favorite blogs and noticed the title of Joanna's daily post, "Stana of Femulate."

Wow! Joanna was very kind in her description of me and the blog and I only hope I can live up to her kind words.

By the way, the photo Joanna used in her post was me at work on Halloween two years ago. Coincidentally, I have been mulling over whether or not to femulate for work again this Halloween.

I have femulated for work on four occasions. The first two times (in 2000 and 2003), my workplace had something going to celebrate Halloween including a costume contest. The last two times (2012 and 2013), there was nothing going on at work Halloween-wise. I just femulated and had a wonderful time.

Do I do it again? Three years in a row!

It has almost become a Halloween tradition and some of my co-workers expect it. A woman asked me a few weeks ago if I was dressing up for Halloween. I replied that I had not made any plans and her retort was, "Sure you will."

Enough said!

Street style during Paris Fashion Week for Spring 2015.

Lori Shannon, also known as Don Seymour Mclean
femulating on television’s All in the Family in 1975.

On Wednesday, Femulate featured Michelle's personal favorite photograph of herself along with the story behind the photograph and why it is her favorite.

In response, I received an e-mail from another Michelle which included her favorite photograph along with the story behind her photo. (I will post her photo and story here if I receive her permission to do so.)

A lot of us take a lot of photos of ourselves. I admit it and I do it for a number of reasons including to see how I look in the outfit I am wearing, to document my progress, to remind myself how I look when I am not presenting in my true gender and to feed the blog.

You may have other reasons for being a prolific self-photographer, but whatever the reason, you and I do take a lot of photos. And like both Michelles, you probably have a favorite photo.

So I invite you to send me your favorite photo along with its story (long or short). Include why the photo is your favorite and I will publish it here for all of us to see, read and enjoy.

To keep the ball rolling...

My favorite photo of me is the one above that I self-took after I got dressed to kill to attend my law school class reunion in 2012. I like the photo for a number of reasons: I love the outfit I put together and I don't look bad for a 61-year-old woman.

But also, the photo is my favorite because attending the reunion was probably the most daring thing I ever did. Unlike other outings where I forewarned my friends and acquaintances, I went into the reunion cold. My name was on the guest list, so my classmates knew I would be attending, but they had no idea I would be attending in my true gender.

By the way, as I wrote here back in 2012, "I had a wonderful time to put it mildly!" There was not a discouraging word and if you are interested, you can read about my reunion experience here and here, but don't forget to send me your favorite photo.

Wearing Leggs.

Actor Sean Kaufmann femulating in the 2008 film titled Stiff Luv.