I recently read the Femulate article about mastering the art of walking in high heels, which brought back a flood of memories. My own high heel journey began in 1990, a time when the world of women's shoes felt like a distant planet.
Working near a Payless Shoe Store in Jersey City, New Jersey, I was surprised to find a huge selection of size 12 shoes—a stark contrast to the typically limited selection for larger feet found at the suburban Payless stores.
One day, I mustered the courage to try on a pair of brown pumps. The thrill of finding a pair that fit was intoxicating. As I nervously brought them to the cashier, I overheard him say something in Spanish to a coworker. I’m sure he was commenting on the unusual sight of a man buying women’s shoes. But in that moment, I didn't care. I had my prize.
Those brown pumps marked the beginning of my exploration into the world of femininity, a world that as a transgender woman, felt both exciting and intimidating.
Payless Shoe Stores became my sanctuary. Urban centers like Jersey City, Newark and Manhattan were my go-to spots for finding those elusive size 12. These stores were a treasure trove consistently offering a wide selection that catered to my needs. For years, Payless was my reliable source for footwear as I navigated my journey.
Unfortunately, the closure of Payless was a significant blow. It left a void in the shoe market for femulators. The loss of this affordable and accessible option was a setback for many.
Brick-and-mortar stores have proven to be a consistent challenge for finding larger sizes. Even popular retailers like DSW can be hit or miss. Nordstroms is the only other brick and mortar store that has large sizes. They also are very helpful and accommodating to the transgender community. Don’t forget Nordstrom Rack – they always have a great selection of large sizes.
This has led many of us to embrace the world of online shopping. While trying on shoes virtually isn't ideal, platforms (pun intended) like Amazon offer unparalleled selection and filtering options. From size and width to price, you can narrow down your search to find the perfect pair.
However, online shopping comes with its own set of hurdles. For those of us concerned about privacy, Amazon lockers are a godsend. They offer a discreet way to receive your order. But for those living in remote areas like myself in Maine, the nearest locker might be a considerable distance away. And let’s face it, unexpected shoe boxes on your doorstep can sometimes raise eyebrows. Whereas, using Amazon gift cards purchased locally can help mitigate concerns about credit card statements.
Once you've mastered the art of online shoe shopping, it’s time to put those new heels to the test. Stana’s article on walking in high heels can be a valuable resource. Remember, practice makes perfect, and every step is a step forward.
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| Wearing Elágia |
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| Femulating on stage in the Jewel Box Revue, circa 1966 |