By Tami Knight
Ambiguity – The quality of being open to more than one interpretation; inexactness
Certainly, passing is overcoming ambiguity. Nothing noticed, all is normal, people nearby have no reason to question. I have a few close girlfriends who have never known me as anything but Tami. I am fortunate that they willingly ignore any small ambiguity in any way and at all times (great stories here!).
Can we expect everyone in our world to overcome the ambiguity they sense? I think not. Will they react with some degree of hostility, disapproval or will they be gracious? This is a serious question in a time where there is much pushback on many things trans. Top of the list, minors and parental rights. Second is an individual (obviously ambiguous) in space restricted to females. If you disagree with this pushback, you are vastly outnumbered and are going to lose the argument. In my opinion, if the trans community fights hard on this, the damage to all things trans will be significant.
The third example is the adult trans person. Most Americans want to live and let live, so this is relatively safe space for those with no or very little ambiguity. Again, no absolutes here.
I had my hair done at my local Ulta yesterday. My stylist and I spent a lot of time chatting about the cut and the color highlights we achieved. I noticed a shopper choosing makeup look my way briefly, and I wondered what she was thinking.
Fifteen minutes later I was standing in line behind this shopper checking out. She noticed me, turned, smiled and said, “Your hair is beautiful!” I thanked her and said something unimportant.
Ambiguity detected? Maybe. I pass easily, but the human brain is very perceptive at close range. Was any perceived ambiguity important to her? One would guess not. Live and let live.
Some of us are good judges of any ambiguity in our presentation, some of us are not. We all need to tailor our presentation to the appropriate stage we enter to be both safe and yes, understanding and respectful of others.
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| Wearing Reformation |
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| Hanns Lothar femulating in the 1961 film One, Two, Three. |