For starters, I had no idea what motivated me on that summer day in 1963 to go to my mother’s bedroom and try on a pair of her nylons and high heel shoes. That Pandora’s Box moment was the beginning of my 60-year love affair with crossdressing, but during those early days, it was a tumultuous affair.
I was very guilty about what I was doing. Heaven forbid that anyone found out that whenever I was home alone, I was exploring my mother’s and sister’s wardrobes. I was so closeted that when my best friend suggested that we dress up as girls for Halloween, I feigned complete disinterest, although in reality, I would have loved to have done it.
The closeting of my crossdressing was not as effective as I thought because in retrospect, all the evidence indicates that my parents knew what I was doing, but they never confronted me about it.
The closet was very stifling. After honing my crossdressing skills in private for almost half a decade, I had to let the girl out of the confines of the closet. So on Halloween 1969, I borrowed my sister’s purple mini-dress, black mid-heel pumps, black tights, wiglet and knit beige cap. I wore minimal makeup. Although I had been wearing my mother’s and sister’s foundation garments in secret for years, I skipped the bra and girdle because I did not think they would appreciate me wearing such personal items.
Mind you, I had no place to go. I was too old to trick-or-treat, I had not been invited to any Halloween parties and I was too young to go bar-hopping. So I drove around town visiting a few friends and relatives, who were amused by my costume. I don’t know if I passed (I’m sure I did not), but I did not care. I was having the time of my life! All I cared about was that I was out in public living a few hours as the young woman I had discovered and nourished for the past few years.
👠 👠 👠
While searching the Internet for an appropriate image to accompany today’s post, I came upon something completely different: Mantis Lady Vintage, a website that sells vintage woman’s clothing. The site is the creation of Edward V. Cantwell, who not only sells the vintage clothing, but models it, too!
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| Wearing Cynthia Rowley |
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| Mark before, Jan after |