Paula Visits Washington

By Paula Gaikowski

I was up at 3:45 to catch an early flight to Washington Dulles Airport. My plane got in at 7:45 AM and I was at the hotel by 9 AM. I was dressed and out the door by 11 AM. It seems to take at least two hours to get ready these days. This trip came up rather fast, so I didn’t have a lot of time to pick out new outfits.

The first stop was, of course, my dear Nordstrom. I went up to the woman’s section looking for a formal dress. There was only one I was interested in. The sales associate offered to let me try it on. I took a photo, but really didn’t like the way it fit.

I made a run to Payless shoes and found a pair of boots that fit. They were $50 and had to pass. I know I am going to regret that.

After spending the morning trying on all those beautiful expensive clothes at the Dulles Towne Center, I decided to grab some lunch before going to Burlington Coat Factory. I found a Chili’s near-by, had a salad for lunch and once again, nothing out of the ordinary happened. It amazes me that I don’t attract attention; I watch very closely out of the corner of my eye, but don’t see any glances or whispers. I won’t say I pass, but I am doing something fairly well.

In the Burlington Coat, I found three suits that I tried on. One was too big, one was too small and one fit just right. The same suit was on the rack at Lord & Taylor for $240; here it was just $40 in clearance. I loved it. It was beautiful and it made me feel so pretty, but I passed on it because it was really made for a formal event and not the kind of suit one would wear to the office or shopping.

So without having bought anything, I decided to go back to the M·A·C counter back at Dulles Towne Center and have them freshen up my makeup. I wanted to try a new look on my eyes. Of course, the sales associate was the prettiest thing and most friendly.

I just want to add here that if you are a novice or a newbie and you are trying to spread your transgender wings, M·A·C should be your first stop. Whether en drab or en femme, they will greet you with acceptance and a helpful positive attitude. When I read posts from girls asking “Should I tell them it’s a gift?” I answer “No, sister, you tell them they're for me," and your life will open up.

When I chat with sales associates at M·A·C, I always am very open about being transgender. I find this is a great opportunity for outreach and education. What I have found is once you open up, they usually have a ton of questions. This time the big question was “Why?”

It’s hard to answer “Why” on the fly at the M·A·C counter. I adjusted my heels on the foot rest of the high make-up chair I was sitting in, looked down at my nails while I thought a minute, and said something like this, “I have always admired, respected, and envied woman. For as long as I can remember, I always wanted to either be like them or be one myself. After many years of guilt and anxiety, I realized I may be different, but not bad. I do this because I appreciate women and their attributes. I value their nurturing, gentleness, empathy, sensitivity and compassion."

I believe I made my point well; she stepped back, with a thoughtful look on her face, and said “Wow, that’s so beautiful, I wish more men felt that way.” I then thought to myself if more men did they would probably be women or transgender.