The term “traveling pretty” was popularized in a blog titled “Traveling Transgender” written by Kimberly Huddle, who flew regularly en femme. Kim has not posted anything since April 2020, but her blog had a great run for over 12 years and is well-worth visiting to read her flying pretty adventures (especially since I have never flown en femme, so have no advice to offer on that matter).
All my traveling pretty has been in a motor vehicle, mostly in my Subaru. And I have done so throughout Southern New England as well as New Jersey, New York, Ohio, Pennsylvania and West Virginia. The only advice I offer about driving en femme is to follow the rules of the road to avoid close encounters with officials wearing badges.
No surprise here, but male drivers will take advantage of woman drivers. Men drive more aggressively when they cross paths with me. They assume that I will back off and give them the right of way, which I usually do, not because I am meek and mild, but because I am en femme and I do not want to get into an accident.
The worst that can happen traveling pretty in a motor vehicle is having an accident. Dealing with police and a potentially irate driver (of the other vehicle) is not my cup of tea. Luckily, I have never had an accident en femme despite driving a standard transmission vehicle in high heels over 14,000 miles.
Almost as bad as having an accident is having a vehicle breakdown.
Years ago after an outreach session, I returned to my Subaru and it would not start. I have AAA, but was not anxious to face a AAA man while I was en femme. So I popped the hood to have a look, found nothing suspicious and got back in the Subaru to try starting the car to no avail.
A small pickup truck pulled up next to me and two young fellows got out to offer assistance. After trying a few things unsuccessfully, they suggested trying to start the car by popping the clutch. I was parked on an incline, so all they had to do was give my car a little nudge and I was on my way, popping the clutch and getting a new battery the next day.
(Today, I have much more experience en femme dealing with men, so I would not hesitate to call AAA.)
Roadtrips require stops for gas, food, rest rooms and overnight stays. Dealing with civilians who sell gas, food and overnight accommodations is no worse than dealing with the sales rep at your favorite boutique; they want your money, so they will treat you nicely in order to collect it. I have never had a problem – even those times when I checked into a hotel en homme and checked out en femme. No one batted an eye.
Rest rooms are a different story. In Connecticut, it is legal to use a rest room that matches your gender presentation, but in some states, it is illegal to use a rest room designated opposite your birth gender. Seeking out a “family” designated rest room is your safest bet. However, that option is not always available, so you might have to throw caution to the wind and use a rest room designated opposite your birth gender. For what it’s worth, I always use the women's rest room wherever I am and have never had a problem. But your mileage may vary.
I love traveling pretty and cannot wait for this pandemic to end so I can continue my travels en femme.
Bon voyage!
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| Wearing New York & Company |
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| John Ritter femulating in a 1977 episode of The Love Boat. Just as I would never be pegged as a “civilian” in light of my history of public Halloween femulations, I believe that Ms. Ritter is in the same boat. He managed to find himself en femme in one too many of his television and film appearances. |