In the closet, I did not need a femme name. There was just me, dust and spiders – no one was going to address me by name, so why bother wasting time coming up with one.
Slinking out of the closet, I suddenly needed a femme name because all the guys on CompuServe’s Genderline went by girl names, not their guy names. I quickly came up with the name “Staci” because it was derivative of my male name (Stanley > Stanislaus > Anastacia > Staci).
Haste makes waste. Although I went by Staci for a long time, I was never happy with my name selection. And then I discovered the name “Stana,” quickly dropped Staci and began introducing Stana to the world. It was unique (I must have known a half-dozen girls like us named Staci/Stacy/Stacie) and its roots were Slavic, just like me.
Among the people in our community I look up are the folks who are public about their femulating, that is, femulators without secret identities. I am referring to the likes of Michael/Miqqi Gilbert and Grayson Perry, who are well-known in their respective fields as guys, but occasionally (or often) present as gals and damn the torpedoes. And Vincent McDoom and Vladimir Luxuria, who present as women full-time, but are open about the fact that their sex is male.
I wanted to be just like them when I grew up and I believe that I have had some success in that regard. Like the folks I look up to, I am open about being a femulator, I am well-known in my field and I often present as a gal.
I just regret not going by my male name full-time like the folks I look up to. Then again, maybe it makes no difference – Google my male name, Stan Horzepa, and see the first image that comes up in the results!
And so it goes.
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| Wearing ModCloth |
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| Walter Dickerson and Manuel Blanc (left to right) femulating in the 2016 French film Where Horses Go to Die. You can view the film’s trailer on YouTube. |