Say Cheese

My spouse was perusing the Avon outlet catalog and when she spotted a necklace that I bought earlier in the year, she remarked, “Didn’t I see you wearing this necklace?”

I did not recall the occasion, but knowing I owned the necklace in question, I assumed she saw me wearing it.

“I guess so,” was my reply. But I wasn’t so sure.

For the past few years, I have gotten into the habit of photographing every outfit I wear or plan to wear. I do this for a couple of reasons:

- To see if the outfit makes me look fat.

- To post the photo on Femulate (so you can see if the outfit makes me look fat).

What I see in the mirror often looks different in a photograph. Photographing my fashion faux pas allows me to make adjustments (e.g., tighten my corset) so I don’t look fat.

Anyways, I have hundreds of selfies. (I just checked and I am embarrassed to tell you how many I actually have. Let’s just say that the number is four-digits long).

I checked all my photos for the past year and there was nary a one in which I am wearing the necklace.

Go figure!