Image may be NSFW.
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Image may be NSFW.
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Elaine Armen
This photaroid was taken 22-23 years ago. It brings back a lot of memories, good and bad from the closeted years.
The Good: The high-necked white Edwardian top (think Prince and Purple Rain) that looked good and covered a lot of sins, a leather mini with tasteful hem length that seemingly shrank whenever I sat down, black knee-length boots with 3½ inch heels (that didn't make it into the frame), the black (big hair) wig that I liked without the tease and spray, and a few glorious (albeit secreted) minutes getting to explore my femme self.
The Bad: Layers of hosiery (pre-shaving) that were hot, hot, hot in the summer, my self-taught rudimentary makeup skills (predating the abundant Internet tutorials), deep red lipstick (not my color), the pose (that's a pose?), the off-center and incomplete framing (a makeshift, time-limited setup), and the constant fear of being discovered fully or partially dressed (what is this crazy desire?)
And yet, I often reflect fondly on this simpler time and the simple temporary pleasure of being myself. Dealing with transgender flame wars and self-serving hierarchies and slippery slope expectations and marital (and social) tensions from being partially out and LGBTQAI conflicting positions and political appropriateness and "are you gay (no), do you want a sex change (no), what is gender?" questions, among other transgender and non-transgender community dealings, only came later for me.
Yes, I think, on the whole, we are better off and more accepted today than ever before because of those things. It's just more complicated.
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
Wearing Alice + Olivia.
