Kate Bornstein vs. Gender Bullies

October 24, 2018, 5:24 pm

This is a rare World Series Edition of Femulate because I am writing it while watching the World Series.

Kate Bornstein vs. Gender Bullies

Author, playwright, performance artist and gender theorist Kate Bornstein wrote on "Why the Gender Bullies Can’t Win," an essay that appears in the current issue of Rolling Stone.

She wrote, "It isn’t going to be easy. It may take a while. So we keep resisting. I’m 70 years old, and I’ve been resisting gender bullying from the day I was told I had to be a boy. I’m still alive, and joyously living the gender of my choice. We all can do that if we do it together with the kindness, compassion, and justice we all deserve."

I urge you to read her entire essay. After all the transphobic flak we have been experiencing lately, I felt encouraged after reading her words.

And go Red Sox!

Wearing Boston Proper (Source: Boston Proper)

This is the outfit Kerry plans to wear on Halloween. "I'm to old to trick or treat, but a stroll through the mall would be just as fun. The killer heels I'm wearing killed my feet after two hours. Have fun on Halloween."

(Send me a photo of your all-time favorite Halloween femulation and I will post it here, too.)

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Leaf it to me

October 26, 2018, 10:35 am

≫ Next: Someday Funnies

≪ Previous: Kate Bornstein vs. Gender Bullies

Last year, the fall leaf count on my little acre was 16,730,421. This year, the leaf count will probably be about the same because the tree count did not change.

I go out twice a week to deal with the fall. My fallen leaf weapons include a rake, an electric handheld blower and a gas-powered wheeled blower.

The handheld blower has a narrow concentrated field of blow, whereas the wheeled blower has a wider field of blow. So I first use the handheld to move leaves that are stuck in nooks and crannies and then I use the wheeled blower to move leaves to the leaf hills and ridges in the woods that surround my property. (I avoid using the rake if at all possible.)

Depending on how thorough I am, it takes 90 minutes to two hours to do the job. Add another 30 minutes if I wear heels instead of flats.

Wearing Metrostyle (Source: Metrostyle)

Julie Shaw's favorite Halloween costume was magical!
(Send me a photo of your all-time favorite Halloween femulation and I will post it here, too.)

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Someday Funnies

October 27, 2018, 9:12 pm

≫ Next: Flu-Like Symptoms

≪ Previous: Leaf it to me

Devil Girl Randy at her support group's Halloween party in 2015
(Send me a photo of your all-time favorite Halloween femulation and I will post it here, too.)

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Flu-Like Symptoms

October 28, 2018, 9:12 pm

≫ Next: !!!!

≪ Previous: Someday Funnies

Throughout my adult life, I never had the flu and never bothered getting a flu shot.

Last winter, I caught the flu for the first time and when the symptoms peaked on a Friday night, my daughter took me to the ER. The hospital sent me home with a prescription and I recovered quickly. However, with people my age dropping like flies all around me from the flu, I promised myself that I would get a flu shot this fall.

I got a flu shot last week and a few days later, I began to feel lousy.

I felt so lousy that I skipped two Halloween parties, thus missing an opportunity to wear the new costume that I assembled for the holiday. So I packed the costume away for next year and so it goes.

Wearing New York & Company (Source: New York & Company)

Joey's favorite Halloween picture is possibly the only Halloween picture of him crossdressed when he volunteered to work in a store on Halloween 2010. You can read all about it here on Joey's blog.
(Send me a photo of your all-time favorite Halloween femulation and I will post it here, too.)

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!!!!

October 29, 2018, 8:39 am

≫ Next: Stuff Happens

≪ Previous: Flu-Like Symptoms

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Stuff Happens

October 31, 2018, 6:44 am

≫ Next: Trick or Treat

≪ Previous: !!!!

Happy Halloween!

This is the first Halloween in awhile that I have not dressed pretty for the occasion. But, as they say, "stuff happens." Things have been VERY hectic around here the past few days and I have had almost zero time for anything related to femulating. I have not even had time to answer my mail, but I hope to catch up with that by the end of the day.

So I apologize to my readers who show up here every day to find something fresh (pun intended) only to find Monday's post at the top of the page.

I love this outfit! (Found it on Pinterest.)

Didi commented on her Halloween costume, "Got a ton of smiles as Harley Quinn, even from my wife."

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Trick or Treat

November 1, 2018, 7:18 pm

≫ Next: Halloween Redux

≪ Previous: Stuff Happens

We usually don't get many Halloween trick or treaters. We live in the woods on a dead end off another dead end, the walk from the street to the house is long and the kids in the neighborhood have grown too old to trick or treat. Halloween 2016, we had four kids, 2017, we had none.

Yesterday, I thought we were going to have a shut out two years in a row — 7:30 PM and no kids and then the doorbell rang. I answered the door and found two girls dressed as cheerleaders. I guessed that they were middle-school age — on the cusp of bring too old to trick or treat. They were both very pretty, but when in unison they said, "Trick or treat" I realized that the pretty girls were actually boys!

Great femulation!

Wearing Boston Proper (Source: Boston Proper)

Beto belly-dancing for Halloween.

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Halloween Redux

November 2, 2018, 2:50 pm

≫ Next: Monday Meanderings

≪ Previous: Trick or Treat

I subscribe to GoComics, which sends me a daily email of comic strips that I like to read. Some are current (Dick Tracy) and some are vintage (Nancy).

One strip I read is The Meaning of Lila, which isn't exactly vintage, but isn't current either – it ran for nine years (2003-2012). For the past few days, the strip had a Halloween theme with Lila and her friend Boyd attending a Halloween party. Here is the strip I received on Friday:

I thought it was interesting in that Friday's strip addressed the issue of girls like us dressing as convincing women on Halloween and as a result, bringing up the question of our sexuality among the civilians.

It certainly has happened to me.

I recall attending a Halloween party at law school en femme. A classmate also attended en femme. His costume was a joke (big party balloon breasts, fright wig, no makeup, etc.), whereas my costume was up to my usual standards of trying to be as convincing as possible.

The partygoers reacted accordingly. Whereas they joked and made rude comments about my classmate's costume, the same people reacted differently to my costume. Most people did not say anything; they just stared at me, seemed to be in awe and were speechless.

One friend did say that he did not realize how feminine my male speech and mannerisms were until I dressed as a woman and now my appearance matched my personality!

Also, I had to fight off the advances of one of the band members who wanted to have his way with me. Not sure if he was a transvestite chaser or he thought I was a cisgender woman, but either way, it was my first encounter with a male admirer and it sure made me think about my sexuality.

Wearing Alexis strapless linen romper (Source: Moda Operandi)

Rachel shopping for that perfect Halloween costume.
(Send me a photo of your all-time favorite Halloween femulation and I will post it here, too.)

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Monday Meanderings

November 5, 2018, 6:19 am

≫ Next: The Brows

≪ Previous: Halloween Redux

Shoe Horse Dept.

Some may call me a "clothes horse" and I won't deny it, but when it comes to shoes, I plead guilty to being a "shoe horse." I stopped counting, but I own well over a hundred pairs of women's shoes. On the other hand (or should I say "other foot"), I own about a half-dozen pairs of men's shoes.

Anyway, I absolutely fell in love with this pair of pumps that I saw in the daily email ad from Nine West. And it comes in my size! And with the online discount, I can save 30% off the list price. But I need another pair of shoes like I need another hole in my head and I am trying to resist buying them.

Be strong, Stana, be strong.

Promises Made, Promises Broken Dept.

In last Wednesday's post, I promised to catch up with answering my mail. Stuff kept happening and I broke my promise, but I hope to catch up before this post appears.

Tooting My Own Horn Dept.

Actually, Joey tooted about me and the blog yesterday and I am just passing it along to you in case you missed it. (Thank you for the kind words, Joey!)

Vote Early and Often Dept.

Voting en femme is on my bucket list. Can't do tomorrow, but someday...

Anyway, be sure to vote tomorrow!

Wearing Ann Taylor (Source: Ann Taylor)

Tina, not out but dressed for Halloween 2017
(Send me a photo of your all-time favorite Halloween femulation and I will post it here, too.)

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The Brows

November 5, 2018, 9:12 pm

≫ Next: Bucket List Redux

≪ Previous: Monday Meanderings

Under the category "Something New I Learned Today" is this short article from StyleCaster.com: The Best Eyebrow Shapes to Flatter Your Face.

I trimmed, plucked and shaped my eyebrows years ago without any consideration as to the best eyebrow shape for my face (who knew?). Lucky girl that I am (not), my trimming, plucking and shaping matched what the StyleCaster article recommended for my oval face, so I am good to go.

By the way, early on I hesitated doing much with my brows fearing that civilians might wonder what was that big guy doing with girly eyebrows. I cleaned up the strays, but not much else and nobody noticed. Emboldened, I began plucking and shaping my brows and still nobody noticed.

One day, I realized that the eyeglasses I wore in boy mode hid what was going on. So even more emboldened, I completely feminized my eyebrows and have maintained girly brows ever since. And no one ever noticed or at least, no one ever mentioned it. On the other hand, my hairdresser trims strays without asking, so somebody did notice.

Wearing New York & Company (Source: New York & Company)

This is Mindy's favorite Halloween photo. It represents a remembrance of her Mom, Dorothy. Mindy wrote, "It was personally so much fun for me getting my makeup done at MAC. You are an inspiration to me and others. Thanks for the courage."

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Bucket List Redux

November 7, 2018, 8:59 am

≫ Next: I Voted Tuesday

≪ Previous: The Brows

Four years ago, I created a transwoman bucket list, that is, things to do in your life as a woman. Readers suggested additions and I made some additions, too.

Heather recently emailed me the list with the items that she did do, didn't do and did not want to do, so noted. She also had a bunch of additions.

Her email motivated me to update the my list and post it here. (Checkmarks indicate the ones I have accomplished.)

Appear in the media ✓
Attend a black-tie event ✓
Attend a cocktail party ✓
Attend a school reunion ✓
Attend a wedding ✓
Attend female-only/oriented events ✓
Check in/out of a hotel ✓
Come out to everyone
Compete in a womanless beauty pageant
Dance ✓
Dress en femme more often than not... ultimately 24/7
Drive a car ✓
Drive cross-country ✓
Flirt
Get a bra fitting without breast forms ✓
Get a bridegown fitting
Get a corset fitting ✓
Get a driver’s license
Get a girdle fitting ✓
Get a makeover ✓
Get a manicure and pedicure
Get a tattoo(s)
Get a wig fitting ✓
Get breast augmentation
Get castrated
Get ears pierced
Get hormone therapy
Get other piercings (other than ear piercing)
Get rid of my varicose veins ✓
Girls' night out with genetic females ✓
Go on a date
Go out to eat ✓
Go to a casino ✓
Go to a concert
Go to a hair salon to get a feminine hairdo
Go to a movie ✓
Go to a public beach
Go to a support group meeting ✓
Go to a non-transgender convention ✓
Go to a transgender convention ✓
Go to church ✓
Go to Diva Las Vegas
Go to Fantasia Fair ✓
Go to the mall ✓
Go to the polls to vote
Be a juror
Go to the theater ✓
Go to work ✓
Go to work daily, not only on Halloween
Grow my hair long
Kiss ✓
Live full-time for an extended period of time ✓
Live full-time 24/7
Make love
Make-out
Model in a fashion show ✓
Perform on stage
Permanent facial and body hair removal
Pluck my eyebrows ✓
Public speaking ✓
Shop for a dress and try it on in the store’s changing room ✓
Shop for groceries ✓
Shop for shoes ✓
Sing ✓
Speak with a convincing feminine voice
Take a continuing education class
Take cooking classes
Take sewing classes
Travel by air
Travel internationally
Tuck ✓
Undergo Sex Reassignment Surgery (SRS)
Use public transportation (taxi, bus, rail) ✓
Use the ladies' restroom ✓
Wear a bikini in public
Wear a bra and breastforms 24/7
Wear a one-piece swimsuit in public ✓
Wear fingernail polish in public ✓
Wear toenail polish in public ✓
Write a book about femulating ✓

Your additions are welcome.

Wearing Alexis mini-dress (Source: Moda Operandi)

Simon Cruz, male womenswear model

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I Voted Tuesday

November 8, 2018, 1:37 pm

≫ Next: Someday Funnies

≪ Previous: Bucket List Redux

I voted on Tuesday and most of the candidates I voted for won. One exception was my local state representative who was running for the state senate. I wrote about him two weeks ago. He is an advocate of anti-LGBT and anti-women legislation.

I had high hopes that he would lose this time around because there were letters to the editor in the local newspaper decrying his legislative agenda. Never saw that before, but he handily beat the candidate who ran against him.

On the positive side, he probably won’t be able to do much damage because the opposition party won big this year and they will keep him in check.

I love houndstooth and I love this outfit. (Source: Pinterest)

Young men wait their turn to strut their stuff in a beauty pageant. (Source: Pinterest)

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Someday Funnies

November 10, 2018, 9:01 pm

≫ Next: Article 0

≪ Previous: I Voted Tuesday

Wearing JustFab (Source: JustFab)

Dick Shawn femulates in a 1967 episode of television's The Lucy Show.

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Article 0

November 11, 2018, 6:41 pm

≫ Next: All Dressed Up, But...

≪ Previous: Someday Funnies

https://www.glaad.org/transweek

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All Dressed Up, But...

November 11, 2018, 9:01 pm

≫ Next: Out of the Wardrobe

≪ Previous: Article 0

Shopping this time of year, I often encounter a dress for sale that would be perfect to wear to a holiday party. And I often buy what I find with the hope that I will have the occasion to wear it.

Want to know how many sparkly dresses are hanging in my closet that I have never worn? They are to-die-for dresses and I am dying to wear them if only I get invited to a holiday party.

I did get invited to my former employer's Christmas luncheon/party last year where I did dress pretty, but now that I left the building over a year and a half ago, I doubt I will get invited back this year.

And so it goes!

Wearing Boston Proper (Source: Boston Proper)

My 2017 holiday luncheon outfit.

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Out of the Wardrobe

November 12, 2018, 9:01 pm

≫ Next: 199

≪ Previous: All Dressed Up, But...

Most of you are probably familiar with the song "Lola" by The Kinks. It is one of the most famous songs about femulating. But did you know that The Kinks also sung another song about femulating. Titled "Out of the Wardrobe," it was released on The Kinks 1978 album Misfits, eight years after Lola was released as a single. Here are the lyrics to "Out of the Wardrobe."

Has anybody here seen a chick called Dick
He looks real burly but, he's really hip
He's six feet tall and his arms are all brown and hairy

Well, he married Betty Lou back in '65
When you had to be butch to survive
But lately he's been looking at his wife with mixed emotions
You see, he's not a common place closet queen
He shouldn't be hidden, he should be seen
Cause when he puts on that dress
He looks like a princess

The day he came out of the wardrobe
Betty Lou got quite a surprise
She didn't know whether she should get angry or not bat an eye
She really couldn't call up her mother
Mama would positively die
Should she go or stay or should she try to get a trial separation

You see, he's not a faggot as you might suppose
He just feels restricted in conventional clothes
Cause when he puts on that dress
He feels like a princess

He's not a dandy, he's only living out a fantasy
He's not a pansy, he's only being what he wants to be
Now his life is rearranged and he's grateful for the change
He's out of the wardrobe and he's got no regrets

Betty Lou didn't know what to do at first
But she's learning how to cope at last
She's got the best of both worlds
And she's really in a state of elation
She says it helps their relationship
She says a change is as good as a rest
And their friends finally coming 'round to their way of thinking
She wears the trousers and smokes the pipe
And he washes up
She helps him wipe
Cause when he puts on that dress
He looks like a princess

He's out of the wardrobe and he's feeling alright
He's out of the wardrobe and he's feeling satisfied
Now it's farewell to the past
The secret's out at last
He's out of the wardrobe and now he's got no regrets

Wearing New York & Company (Source: New York & Company)

Femulate reader and ham radio sister Peggy Sue

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199

November 14, 2018, 8:13 am

≫ Next: Awareness, indeed!

≪ Previous: Out of the Wardrobe

I planned to finish a post I started yesterday and post it today, but something surprising happened that trumps that unfinished post.

I got on the bathroom scale this morning and for the first time in my adult life, I did not weigh 200 or more pounds! When I saw "199" displayed on the scale, it looked so odd that I thought the scale had erred, so I got off and back on the scale again fully expecting it to read 200-something, but it displayed 199 again!

I have been trying to get under 200 like forever and I came close a few times, but breads and sweets always got in the way. I think breads more than sweets was the deal breaker because I don't really eat a lot of sweets and as soon as I cut out my daily dosage of bread three weeks ago, I started dropping weight... not dramatically, but slowly and at a steady pace.

Wow! I am a happy girl!

Wearing SheIn (Source: SheIn)

Actor William Phipps' test shots for his femulation in the 1951 film No Questions Asked

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Awareness, indeed!

November 15, 2018, 10:53 am

≫ Next: Someday Funnies

≪ Previous: 199

This is Transgender Awareness Week.

The Week concludes with Transgender Day of Remembrance (TDOR) on Tuesday, November 20, when we remember our trans brothers and sisters who died because they were trans and did not pretend they were something else.

I discovered that TDOR events are scheduled all over the calendar because TDOR falls during Thanksgiving week this year and some of the people who might normally attend, will not be available. For example, some colleges and universities are on vacation next week, so they have either scheduled a TDOR event this week or simply cancelled their TDOR event this year.

Getting back to Transgender Awareness Week, the GLAAD Trans Week webpage states that the Week is intended "to help raise the visibility of transgender and gender non-conforming people, and address the issues the community faces."

Doing outreach at Southern Connecticut State University

Over the years, I think I have done my share of making civilians aware of transgender people. It was actually kind of easy once I overcame my fear of mixing it up with civilians. Once I found out that I had nothing to fear except fear itself, I loved going out and finding new venues in which to strut my stuff as a woman, trans or otherwise.

It was "easy" because almost all of my friends and acquaintances, who knew the male me accepted the female me.

My former co-workers knew the male me long before they were introduced to the female me and things did not change when they were made aware that I was trans; I was the same old Stan, but with an improved fashion sense.

Strangers were almost as easy. I assume that I passed some of the time because no one pays much attention to old women like me, so old transwomen can fly under the radar and not be closely scrutinized.

On the other hand, I also assume that some civilians suspected that I was a trans, but they did not make an issue of it. The worst experience was the use of wrong pronouns, but I can live with that especially in the cases when the person using the wrong pronoun corrected himself/herself.

Doing outreach at colleges and universities was different because going in, the students knew we were trans, so there was no fooling them. On the other hand, I think we probably enlightened some of the students. How many of them expected over-the-top drag queens to show up and were surprised when we appeared just like other civilians? Awareness, indeed!

Wearing Madeleine (Source: Madeleine)

I found this before and after photos to be fascinating. (Source: Pinterest)

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Someday Funnies

November 17, 2018, 9:01 pm

≫ Next: Barbie Fashions for Real Dolls

≪ Previous: Awareness, indeed!

Wearing Bebe (Source: Bebe)

A womanless beauty pageant's "Best Smile"

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Barbie Fashions for Real Dolls

November 18, 2018, 9:12 pm

≫ Next: Transitioning

≪ Previous: Someday Funnies

Remember playing with Barbie dolls when you were a young girl?

I did not own a Barbie doll, but my sister did and occasionally, I would spend some girl-time playing with my sister's dolls. As a budding transvestite, I once dressed her Ken doll in Barbie's clothes. But just like in the real world, Barbie's clothes did not quite fit right on Ken, so I abandoned crossdressing Ken and stuck to dressing Barbie while dreaming about dressing myself in her high fashions.

Turns out, I can now dress myself in Barbie's haute couture. According to Parade, "Barbie’s celebrating the big 6-0 next year with a collaboration available now: Barbie x Unique Vintage, a new apparel line turning iconic 1960s Barbie outfits into real women’s clothing."

Even better news: Unique Vintage's Barbie line is available in larger sizes for girls like us. Also, Unique Vintage offers other retro style clothing from the 1920's to the 1970's with many items available in plus sizes. And for you California gurls, you can sashay down to their brick and mortar store in Burbank.

Personally, I think the Unique Vintage line of Barbie apparel looks nicer than the original Barbie clothing. And I hope to find out for myself as soon as I can make up my mind which Barbie outfit to purchase.

Wearing Boston Proper (Source: Boston Proper)

The always lovely Hannah McKnight

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