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Boys Just Want To Be Girly

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Last week, an article titled "11 'Girly' Things Men Wish They Could Do Without Judgment" appeared on The Huffington Post.

The author of the article, Alanna Vagianos wrote, "A Dec. 17th thread asked the men of Reddit, 'What girly thing do you really want to do or try but it is socially unacceptable?' Responses ranged from cuddling etiquette ('Being the little spoon') to fashion woes ('Toe socks') and showing emotion ('Crying in public without getting judged')"

Ms. Vagianos goes on to describe her 11 favorite answers, which included having more stylish clothing options, carrying a purse, and wearing makeup.

Intrigued, I decided to go to the source and read what other girly things guys wished they could do. 

I was amazed by how many guys want to do girly things and to what extent some guys want to get girly. A few guys admitted that they wanted to dress completely like a woman and a few even admitted to wanting to take on the submissive role and have sex like a woman.

My favorite comment was, "This thread reminds me how lucky I am to be transgender."

***

My sister baked a boatload of cookies for Christmas. When she was listing the kinds of cookies she baked, I recalled one of the cookies that my mother used to bake and asked her if she had my mother's recipe. 

She said she did have the recipe, but that she was done baking cookies and had moved on to gift wrapping mode. I asked her to email the recipe to me, so she did so assuming that my wife or daughter would bake the cookies.

Recovering from surgery, my wife was in no condition to stand over a hot stove and my daughter was  busy at work, so I decided to bake the cookies myself.

Note well that I have never baked anything from a recipe in my life, but this cookie recipe seemed simple enough for a novice like me.

Christmas Eve morning, I gave it a go and successfully baked a batch.

The cookies contained black pepper and my wife and daughter did not like them, but my sister said they tasted exactly like my mother's cookies. She added that she was very proud of me for doing it.

Note that this is the same sister that is in denial that her brother is a woman, but is "proud" when her brother does girly things.

***

Stana's Honey Pepper Cookies

Ingredients:

1 lb. - rye flour
1 cup - honey
1 cup - sugar
2 teaspoons - black pepper

Combine all the ingredients to the consistency of raw pie crust, then roll the dough out like a rope about the width of a finger. Cut the rope into one-inch pieces and place them on a cookie sheet. Bake at 350 degrees for 15 minutes.



The femulating ballerinas of Les Ballets Trockadero de Monte Carlo.





Source: ShopBop

Wearing Alice + Olivia.

Out with the Old

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If you are not en femme 24/7 like me, you do not use cosmetics on a daily basis. As a result, you probably do not use up the cosmetics before they should be trashed.

Some makeup should be thrown away sooner than other makeup, for example, mascara and liquid eye liner should be trashed after three months. On the other hand, you can keep some makeup for years.

Recently, Daily Makeover described what to keep and what to toss. 

Since I am an Avon rep, I am always trying out new products that they offer; some are keepers, some are not. Either way, the stuff fills the huge tackle box (photo right) that serves as my makeup box.

I usually go through my makeup every six months or so discarding stuff that is old or stuff that I tried once and did not like. (And still my makeup box is overflowing!)

I’m gonna need a bigger box!




German professional femulator Hansi Sturm, 1930.



Source: ideeli

Wearing BCBGMAXAZRIA.

Nothing Beats a Great Pair of Legs

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By Paula Gaikowski

You might remember that phrase from an old commercial, but it seems pantyhose commercials have gone the way of the 8-track tape. Growing up transgender, I would watch them all with envy, “Gentlemen Prefer Hanes,” “Our Leggs fit your legs,” “Sheer Energy,” “No Nonsense”. Someday I wanted smooth sexy legs like that

Shaving my legs was a milestone and rite of passage on my transgender journey. There has been nothing more liberating and cathartic than looking down and seeing a pair of woman’s legs surface after shaving for the first time.

I had always hoped that someday I would free my legs from their matted jungle of maleness. Finally one winter, using the transparent excuse of dry skin, I persuaded my wife to give into a winter shaving so I could moisturize my legs without globing a mess of lotion over all that hair. Actually, this truly is a benefit of having smooth legs. Before I started shaving my legs during the winter, whenever I put on moisturizing lotion, the lotion would mat up in all the hair — yuck!

Finally the day came. I had dropped my wife off at the airport and I had an empty house where I could experiment with my new Venus razor. I envisioned a scene from the Venus commercial where Jennifer Lopez glides a razor over her already gorgeous smooth hairless legs and they reappear even more stunning.

I set to work bursting with enthusiasm and anticipation ready to “reveal the goddess in me.” I started by lathering up my legs and then slowly pulling the razor over them, but as I did the razor became clogged with hair. I constantly had to stop and clear the razor.

“Hmm I didn’t notice Jennifer Lopez doing this?”

After that, I needed to go over each spot several times. Next the shaving cream started to dry, then I cut myself. Next the razor got dull and it had to be replaced, then I cut myself again! Finally there I was hobbling down the hallway to get another razor while bleeding with shaving cream dripping all over.

In conclusion, after over 90 minutes, three razors, cold and bleeding legs, an aching back, a messy bathroom, my legs looked more like Mario Lopez than Jennifer Lopez!

It was not the glorious feminine initiation ceremony I had imagined. Still covered with patches of hair and nubs my legs did look a lot better and I was, of course, delighted at my initial results.

Practice makes perfect, and after five years of shaving my legs, I’ve learn a few things that I would like to share. We all want that feminine shaving scene we see in the commercials and I’ll get you there girls, but the first time is a bit challenging.

To do it right I am going to strongly suggest that you buy yourself a set of electric clippers. For under $20 at CVS or Wal-Mart you will find more than one type available. I bought a model with a length attachment and use it to trim my arm hair down to ¼ inch. As a transgender woman, these clippers can and do have many uses.

Next, before we do any actual shaving, find a spot where you can start shearing off a lifetime of leg hair growth. I suggest a spot where clean-up is easy and there is a lot of light. There is going to be hair everywhere. I shave my legs for the first time every year come October. I pick a sunny warm day and go out onto the back deck. Here I can see all the little hairs in the sunlight and clean-up is simple with a broom. Slowly but surely, work your way up from the ankles, carefully around the knees and gently behind the knees and thighs. When you’re done you might want to find a mirror and check for spots you missed. At this point, your legs will be bristly, but they will look amazingly different.

Phase two can wait until the next day or if you have time, jump right into the shower. I find the key to getting your legs pretty girl smooth is taking it slow. I take three or four days to finish the whole process of transforming my legs from boy to girl. When I first started shaving, I used shaving cream; it smells pretty and makes you feel feminine. However, in the shower it’s near impossible to keep water away from your legs and the shaving cream starts breaking down. Shaving cream washes away as soon as a few drops of water hit it.

Instead, I use a moisturizing soap. I prefer Dove because I like their :”Real Beauty” campaign. Soap lather lasts longer than shaving cream and doesn’t wash away as quickly.

The first day, I shave from the ankles to about halfway up to the knee. I take my time and get all those hairs in the back and front. The next day, I start at the ankles again and move upward to the knees. The point not to miss here is that I am going over the same area as the day before. This gets any spots that I missed. The third day, I start at the ankles again and go up to mid-thigh. To finish on the last day, I start at the ankles and go all the way up my legs. By now, you have gone over each area several times and have now transformed your legs into smooth and feminine accessories.

The average women shaves her legs about once a week, sometimes more in the summer, sometimes less in the winter. If you’re not on HRT, then it probably should be every day. Your mileage might vary, but here’s what I do.

Believe it or not shaving will become a chore after awhile. So the easier you make it, the more you will do it to keep up that gorgeous look. I shave from the ankles up to the knees one day and then the next day, from the knees up to the top. By doing only half the leg, I’m done in five minutes. This makes it easy enough so that I don’t skip a day and keep up the maintenance. After a few weeks, they become use to the razor and are really smooth when moisturized afterward.

Wearing a dress and hose for the first time after shaving is a defining moment in a girl’s life. Nonetheless, being able to look down at my legs and see what appears to be feminine female legs, has a healing and curative effort. Those periods of acute gender dysphoria come less often and are less severe when I shave my legs.

Now go ahead. Reveal the goddess in you!




Femulating model Eric Voullosky.



Wearing Madeleine.

Losing Leg Hair

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My skirt's not too short – my legs are too long!

Paula's post on shaving her legs moved me to write about shaving my legs.

I avoid shaving my legs with a razor blade and shaving cream or gel because it is too time-consuming. My legs are too long... 36 inches each to be exact and it takes forever.

Early on, I discovered the wonderful world of chemicals. Nair and Veet were my hair removing chemicals of choice. They did the job quickly and thoroughly. And after using them for over four decades, they permanently removed a lot of my leg hair. As a result, using chemicals now is overkill. 

So every morning, I attack the leg hairs that toughed it out. After I shave my face and neck with a top-of-the-line Norelco rotary head electric razor, I do a portion of my legs. One day, I will shave my knees, the next day, my calves, the next day, my thighs, the next day... well, you get the idea. As a result, when I get all dolled up to go out en femme, a quick touch-up with my Norelco is all I need to be femininely smooth.

By the way, I use the same routine to keep my arms, shoulders and breasts hair-free.




Transgender actor Atif Siddiq femulating in the 2012 Canadian film House for Sale.



 Wearing I don't recall.






One Thing Led to Another

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Source: Emma Ballantyne on flickr

The exquisite Emma out en femme.

 

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Source: Brahmin

Wearing Brahmin.

The Weight

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Source: adclassix.com

Between Thanksgiving and New Years, we are urged to consume, consume and consume some more. Then right after the big ball drops in Times Square, we are urged to diet, diet, diet!

Maintaining a girlish figure between T-Day and January 1st is a battle. Some years are better or worse than other years. Most years, the battle is lost.

During those worse years, I have had to wear the heavy-duty girdle with the metal stays for any January outings en femme. But this year was better; I maintained my weight throughout the holidays.

I suspect that being a housewife for over a month while my spouse recovered from surgery had something to do with it. Trying to be a good little wife, I cleaned and washed and cooked like I never had before. And most weekdays, I also telecommuted eight hours a day. As a result, I did not gain a pound and I also have a better appreciation for women who are trying to have it all.

And now that the holidays of consumption are over, this housewife should be able to shed a few pounds.

Happy New Dress Size!

 

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Source: YouTube

Actor Robert Knepper femulates on television’s L.A. Law in 1986.

 

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Source: ideeli

Wearing J.S. Boutique.

Glamazons

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Source: vintagesleaze.blogspot.com

This time around, reader G Kunz contributed a bunch of new entries to the Famous Females of Height List, including two members of the Glamazons; a third member of the group, Dorothy Ford, was already on our list.

You can read all about the Glamazons here and here are all the additions to the list.

5’8” - Abbie Cornish - actress - film, Seven Psychopaths - Source: Stana

5'9" - Betsy Brandt - actress - television, Breaking Bad - Source: Stana

5’9” - Olivia Williams - actress - film, Rushmore - Source: Stana

5’10" - Chyna - wrestler - source: G Kunz  

5'11" - Betsy Brandt - actress - television, Breaking Bad - Source: Stana

5'11" - Christine Marzano - model and actress - film, Seven Psychopaths - Source: Stana

6'0"– Irish McCalla – actress – film & television, Sheena: Queen of the Jungle - source: G Kunz

6'0"– Helen O'Hara – actress – television, Richard & Judy - source: G Kunz

6'0"– Bunny Waters – actress – film, Dangerous When Wet - source: G Kunz

6’7” – Amazon Ashley – stripper - source: G Kunz

 

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Source:

Actor Gaurav Ghera femulating in India television’s Mrs. Pammi Pyarelai, 2013.

 

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Source: Bluefly

Who wears Julie Brown better?

The Tale of the Male Bridesmaid

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Paula e-mailed me about a male bridesmaid and her quest to get to the bottom of the story.

It all started with an article posted on the WLIF FM radio station website titled “Trend Alert: Male Bridesmaids.” The article stated, "Now, it’s not always women on the Bride’s side.  What to you think of a man on the Bridesmaids’ side?"

Accompanying the article was the following photograph.

male_bridesmaid 
Some readers concluded that the bridesmaid on the right was male. Admittedly, she is a big girl and her face has some masculine features, so their conclusions are not out of line especially considering the photo's juxtaposition to the article.

Paula was fascinated with the photo, posted the link on Crossdressers.com and asked if anyone knew the bridesmaid.

Turns out the male bridesmaid was probably female.

The original bridesmaids' photo appears here in a set of photos from a 2010  "celebrity" wedding in Australia. (The celebrities were an Australian fashion model and an Australian professional football player.) The names of the bridesmaids appears here. All the names are female names.

The male bridesmaid could have used a female name, but I believe that other photos of the so-called male bridesmaid (like this photo) suggest that she is female and not male.

On the other hand, males femulating in wedding parties do exist. Here is a perfect example.

Sadly, I never had the opportunity to be a bridesmaid, maid of honor, or a bride, and at my age, it ain’t gonna happen. However, mother of the bride is still a possibility.

 

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Source: charlesbusch.com

Maxine Andrews of Andrews Sisters fame
with actor Charles Busch backstage in 1995.

 

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Source: Madeleine

Wearing Madeleine.


First They Look at the Purse... Not

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Source: Pininterest

The always elegant Christopher Morley.


Source: Madeleine

Wearing Madeleine.

Ms. Gaikowski, your table is ready

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By Paula Gaikowski

Every Friday I work from home and get to spend a few hours en femme. While I do enjoy these quiet times nothing beats some real quality girl time out and about. So after several weeks of not traveling, I was overjoyed to hear that I was going to San Diego for a class. 

Monday was my travel day and I debated flying en femme. The only reason I didn’t was because of the distance. I had a layover in Houston and the whole trip would take about eight hours. The first time I do fly en femme, I want it to be a short trip. However, I am at a point now where I feel confident enough to fly without any misgivings or fears.

I landed in San Diego at 12 PM and arrived at the hotel by 1 PM. I opened my suitcase and pulled back a thin layer of male clothes and then drew out a dancer’s garment bag that held Paula’s wardrobe for the next week. 

I decided to wear my houndstooth skirt and black turtleneck. I made my way down to the lobby to get a bottle of water. As the door to the elevator opened, I was hit by a stench of smoke. I stood there perplexed for a moment and then noticed the place was crawling with smokejumpers from the U.S. Forest Service. They were staying at the hotel for training classes and were on a break. So forward I marched into a crowd of about 30 macho guys, confident and secure in my womanhood. I picked a bottle of water from the cooler and smiled to the young woman at the desk

“Please put this on room 312”

“Sure no problem,” she smiled back at me while busy with a 100 other tasks.

I collected my purse, swung it over my shoulder and made my way to the exit. The room was loud and the crowd was bustling and hectic. Then to my delight, one of the firefighters standing near the door reached over and politely held it open. 

I remember the first time I got a ma’am’d; it was incredibly validating, but to receive this social courtesy typically afforded women truly made my day. 

I smiled and waved demurely and chimed out, “Thank you, sir.”

In a clear west Texas accent I heard a baritone, “Welcome, Ma’am.”

I guess what was all so exhilarating and exciting is that for most of my life I never thought I would ever leave the house dressed as a woman. I lived with such fear and shame that the thought of being accepted and treated respectfully as a women seemed foreign and unattainable. 

Only a few short years ago (in 2009), I was afraid even to buy makeup. I truly treasure exchanges like this and it is with heartfelt sincerity that I say that I treasure and feel privileged to be addressed as a woman. 

The day was off to a great start and couldn’t get any better. I decided to take a ride to the University of San Diego and pick up a sweatshirt for a friend at the bookstore. The store closed at 6 PM, so I hurried on my way. 

The university is huge and beautiful. The campus has acres of manicured lawns and pristine walkways. I spent about 30 minutes walking and taking it all in the architecture, the landscaping and all of the young people filled with such optimism and hope. After surrendering to the reality that I wasn’t going to stumble upon the bookstore, I stopped and asked a young woman for help. She started to give me directions, but then gave up and invited me to walk along with her. We had a pleasant chat as we walked along together,

“This is a beautiful campus,” I offered in hopes of initiating a conversation. 

“It’s 182 acres and designed in 16th century Spanish Renaissance architecture. San Diego was first discovered in 1542 by the Spanish, years before the Pilgrims arrived in Plymouth,” she offered.

“Wow,” I thought to myself, “Not your typical zoned-out college kid.”

“You must be either an architecture or history major?” I suggested.

“Neither” she responded, “I’m in Elementary Education.”

My eyes lit up and before I could get the words back into my mouth, they were out there.

“Oh, my wife teaches 1st grade,” I laughed inside for outing myself, nevertheless I kept going.

“You’re going to make a wonderful teacher,” I finished.

I could see on her face that I had answered any doubt and filled in any blanks she had about this tall blond. With that, however, her smile seemed to grow a little brighter and her conversations a bit more animated as she asked me about my wife’s school, class and career. We arrived in front of the bookstore and parted ways with cordial pleasantries.

I’m sure she realized I was transgender and it encourages me to see that the next generation is supportive and accepting of transgender people.

I headed over to the Fashion Valley Mall and decided on the Cheesecake Factory for dinner. There was a queue for tables, so I sat and waited amongst dozens of dinners. I busied myself with my phone and sat there with my legs demurely crossed. 

As I was sitting there, I remembered reading the webpages of a girl named Gabrielle Romani back in the 90’s. She always went to Cheesecake Factory en femme. I remember thinking, “There’s no way I could ever, ever do that!” But here I was proving there is hope for everyone.

“Ms. Gaikowski, your table is ready.”




Actor Greg Armstrong Morris (center) femulating on stage in La Cage aux Folles, 2012.



Source: Madeleine

Wearing Made

Feel like a woman. Wear a dress!

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By Paula Gaikowski

Being middle-aged, boring and oh so predictable, I of course, went to the MAC store at the Fashion Valley Mall the second night in town. Wait a second, did I say, “Boring and predictable?” I’m going to have to reassess that statement. Any middle-aged man, who throws caution to the wind and frolic’s cross country as a middle-aged woman can’t be pegged as boring and predictable. Crazy maybe, the jury is still out.

I don’t want to sound like an advertisement for MAC, nevertheless they were wonderful as usual. I spent about an hour with a young woman working on a winter look for my eyes. She had never met a transgender person before and I spent the time telling her my story. She asked me a ton of questions. Are you gay? What does your wife think? How old were you when you started? And of course. the well-known “Are going to get the operation?” She was a sweetheart and we hugged when parting.

The Cheesecake Factory was convenient, so I enjoyed another nice meal there. I was seated at a table and in front of me was a huge mirror that provided a view of the restaurant. I’m always curious what others think of my presentation, so I kept scanning the room looking for the stares or whispers. Happily I didn’t notice anything like that. I finally relaxed and sat there gazing with wonder into the mirror at the woman across from me.

My last night there, I put on my favorite Jones New York suit and headed out to a See’s Candies to buy a hostess gift for the holidays. The sales associate was a handsome fellow and was super helpful as we went through the list I brought in with me. He Ma’am’d me several times, so I was delighted.

I stopped by Macy’s and visited the NARs counter. I had been looking for a lip gloss to give my lips some added dimension and thought I would visit my old favorite makeup counter. I spent about 20 minutes trying a few different shades and walked away with a $26 tube of lip gloss. I do love being spoiled and treated special by the sales associate,s but is it worth $26?

Finally, the last stop on my last night there was, girlfriends?  …yes, Nordstrom! If I was going to advise novice girls on their first steps out in to the world, I would suggest your first two visits, whether in drab or en femme should be MAC and Nordstrom. 

I had no intention of trying on any gowns that evening, but was assisted by a vivacious sales associate named Ashley. As we scanned the racks for a long sleeve gown, she peppered me with questions about the event I needed a dress for, along with the color and date. I quickly invented a story about my niece’s wedding back east in February. She pulled three long gowns and then she asked the question you never ask a transgender girl, “Would you like try to some of these dresses on?” 

So, I’m thinking, “Is the Pope Catholic?” I hesitated for a bit and then she started to insist, “Oh, it’s no trouble. Let me start a room.” 

“Yes, Ashley, please start a room.” 

I don’t know about you girls, but you don’t have to asd me a third time to try on beautiful designer gowns. Off we went. 

I tried on four different gowns and Ashley took pictures of three. Ashley was playful and a lot of fun. When I tried on the Adrianna Papell you see here, I felt so pretty. Ashley remarked “Oh, wow. That dress works for you. Your hips, look at those boobies.” 

“Gosh, wow. Is that how ladies talk in the dressing rooms,” I thought. I was highly complemented, but also a little bit self-conscious by her observation. 

Her salesmanship was effective and I decided to buy the dress I was in love with it. Guess what, girls? I then saw the price tag ($540). Sadly, I had to decline. It just was too much for my budget. Ashley was happy to help me and understood the economics of it all. It was an enjoyable way to end my visit to San Diego and I have a special memory.

(For more Paula, visit flickr to see her collection of photos.)



Charles Busch femulating on stage in Shanghai Moon, 1999.


Source: Madeleine

Wearing Madeleine.

Confirmation

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IMG_3798_web I watched the Golden Globe Awards show Sunday night. I never miss it… same with the Oscars.

Comedians Tina Fey and Amy Poehler hosted the event. During their opening remarks, Amy said, “A very good evening to everyone here in the room and to all the women and gay men watching at home.”

When I heard that, I double-checked my sexuality. Since I am not a gay man, I must be a woman. Amy Poehler confirmed it!

Seriously, though, my interests lie on what many would consider the feminine side of the street and less so on the masculine side. Film and fashion are among my interests, so that is why I watch the Golden Globes and the Oscars.

I have feminine speech and mannerisms to go along with my so-called feminine interests. And as I have written here in the past, I am probably the most feminine male that most of my acquaintances know or, at least, I am in the top three on their femme guy lists. So for those who know me in boy mode, it is no surprise when I show up wearing a dress, makeup and heels --- it just completes the picture.

 

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Source: Pinterest

Fashion designer, model, and always amazing Phillipe Blond.

 

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Source: ShopBop

Clothing by Nicholas, body by Fisher.

Things To Come

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Femulating in public is more common today than it was yesterday and I predict that femulating in public will become even more common tomorrow. There are two or three reasons for increased public emulating.

One Reason

Every day, older femulators are discovering that the world does not end when they step outside en femme. It turns out that it was a lot easier than they thought and as a result, they all regret not taking that first step earlier (I know I did).

My countless outings en femme, as well as outings by girls like Paula, Kimberly, Janie, Meget al, who don't think twice about being pretty in public, have, by example encouraged indoor femulators to try femulating outdoors. The more we femulate in public, the more others will try it.

Another Reason

Younger femulators do not need much encouragment. They grew up in a world where the fluidity in gender and sexuality among their peers is accepted rather than excepted (like when old ladies like me were growing up). As a result, they already know that the world will not end when they step outside en femme. The only thing holding them back is deciding which skirt to wear today.

Still Another Reason

Males, who are not femulators, are femulating in public unintentionally by adopting items in their wardrobe that were formerly considered feminine. Today, fashionable males may be seen in public wearing makeup, handbags,  jewelry, skirts, skinny jeans, leggings, tights, pantyhose, high heels, etc. --- all items that were considered strictly "girly" a generation ago.

This growing number of unintentional femulators just further encourages intentional femulators to do their thing.

In Conclusion

Whereas, in the not-too-distant past, I seldom encountered another femulator in public, nowadays, I often encounter other femulaors when I am out. And I expect that in the near future, we will be everywhere!


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Source: Pageant: The Musical
Actor Tyler Mynard femulating as Miss Bible Belt on stage in Pageant: The Musical, 2012.


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Source: ShopBop

Wearing Lele Rose.

Good Vibrations

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trying_on_shoes I went to the local Payless shoe store during lunch yesterday to buy men's sneakers.

If you are not familiar with the layout of a Payless store, in this neck of the woods the men's shoes occupy one wall of the store and the rack across the aisle from the men's wall of shoes contains the largest size women's shoes (up to size 13). Either way, that is my aisle.

So, I am in the middle of the aisle perusing the sneakers and trying on the ones that look like they have potential to make my feet happy.

I am the only customer in the store, when in walks a middle-aged gent, who proceeds down my aisle. He briefly glances at some shoes on the men's wall and then continues down to the end of the aisle and around the corner to parts unknown.

I continue to pull paper padding out of sneakers and try them on my left foot, which is my fit testing foot. (As they say, "What's good for the left foot is good for the right foot.")

A minute or two later, the gent appears at the head of the aisle, but hesitates walking down the aisle when he sees me still at it.

Suddenly, my transgender radar unit started vibrating and I had to reach into my purse to shut it off as the gent quickly exited the store.

True story (mostly).

 

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Femulating during The Great Depression.

 

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Wearing Moschino (top), Diane von Furstenberg (shorts),
Stuart Weitzman (shoes) and Tory Burch (bag).

The Long and Short of It

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short_hair 

 

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Stanley-Burleson---La-Cage-aux-Folles---stage-Germany---2010

Actor Stanley Burleson (right) femulating in a German
stage production of La Cage aux Folles, 2010.

 

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Wearing Madeleine.


A Road Less Traveled - Part 1

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By Michelle

After reading Paula’s mid-January account of her few days away, it brought to mind how I have also journeyed further and further into the feminine world over time.

My earliest recollections are putting on my mum’s apron and lipstick in a bungalow we moved from just before my 6th birthday (so I must have been young) and being excited when seeing my then comedy heroes Morcambe and Wise femulating in wigs, makeup, evening dresses and matching long gloves (when I must have been a similar age). 

In the former instance my mother saw the lipstick and took me immediately to the bathroom and washed it off, making it quite clear that this was not the thing for me to do. 

As I grew, my mother’s clothes and shoes went from being too big, to being the right size (for an all too brief period) to being too small. I never got the chance to leave the house dressed whilst of school age and took some stupid risks when dressing upstairs whilst my parents were downstairs, always telling myself I could change quickly enough if I heard them coming (of course, that was completely unrealistic – had they decided to come upstairs, I would have no time to revert to my male self).

My first venture out en femme was when I was about 17 or 18 when my parents had gone out and under the cover of darkness I drove my car around the block and back into the garage.  A great thrill, but then I admonished myself for being so foolhardy and never did anything like that again while I lived at home, limiting myself to dressing within our four walls. 

Eventually my luck ran out when my parents went out to buy something from the shops. Assuming they would be gone for at least half an hour I dressed and was in my mother’s bedroom when I heard somebody coming up the stairs. I tried to run back to my room, but as I passed the top of the stairs I saw it was my mother, who had returned early as the shop had been shut, and she saw me. 

For those of you that have suffered this, you may have experienced the embarrassment I endured as I went downstairs later to talk to my parents – my worst nightmare had been realized. My parents, however, despite always previously showing complete disgust for any man who “dressed up as a woman” on television, were surprisingly supportive. I had feared they might disown me, but they didn’t. My dad said if I had those feelings again, I should go for a walk until they went away (my dad was very British – and I love him for it) and my mum offered me psychiatric help. 

Now you may feel these are rather negative reactions and I guess they are, but my parents experienced the war and the austerity of the post-war period and basically came from a very much less permissive era. They were also very introverted and shy and this was an experience that was new to them (as far as I’m aware). They were trying to help as best they could.

Partly as a result of the shock of being discovered by my parents that day and then meeting my first girlfriend a few weeks later, my desire to dress disappeared completely and I didn’t do so for 18 months! That was until I went to stay with her for a long weekend whilst she was at college. She had to work one morning and while she was out I noticed some gorgeous shoes on the floor of her bedroom – well that was that! 

Before I knew it I was dressed again, this time not in the rather boring clothes that my mother had, but in fashionable flowing skirts, flowery blouses and a full range of makeup – bought by a female of my own age. This was a much more exciting experience. I was hooked once again.

My girlfriend was not aware of my other self when three years later we were married. It was 7 years after that when I told her of my crossdressing. There followed a difficult time as she came to terms with the situation, but gradually she accepted the full me. Although given the choice, she would rather I stopped, she accompanies me on my outings whenever it is convenient for her to do so and generally is very positive about them.



Part 2 of Michelle's "A Road Less Traveled" will be here tomorrow.



Source: Femulate Archive

Femulators in the United Kingdom, circa 1970.



Source: ShopBop

Wearing Alice + Olivia.

A Road Less Traveled - Part 2

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By Michelle

Before telling my girlfriend, of course, I was dressing secretly at home fearing her sudden return, but eventually I took the courage and went to a “closed” meeting of our sisterhood. This was a step up again and I was very nervous. 

What was I scared of? I guess I was worried that somebody I knew would see me there. Although the obvious reply is that I would also see them, therefore, we’d both be in the same situation. Anyway, I got there, changed in the room allocated for doing so and went to meet the others. I found it a little uncomfortable and to be honest, a bit of a let-down. 

My immediate reaction was to leave (can you imagine that after all the build-up?), but I stuck it out and stayed for most of the evening. In those days, those meetings were the only meeting anywhere closer than London (a two-hour drive each way for me). So despite it being very low key and only held monthly (and not at all in December), I became a regular, gradually meeting friends there.


The next stage were “closed” weekends away, although on my first visit, I only went for the Saturday, coming home in the late afternoon. It was during these events that I left the hotel and for the first time walked out in the general public, first under the cover of darkness and then in broad daylight. What a site I must have been – although I have always not gone too over the top, my skirt was probably a bit too short and my wig was of a poor quality. However, once I was out I walked around for three hours and although I’m sure I was, I was not aware of being read. I walked back into the hotel elated and wanted to tell everyone about it. But that isn’t so easy because everyone else also wanted to talk about their adventures of the day.


These weekends (and they became full weekends as I got there on Friday evening and stayed until Sunday morning) became regulars for me and I became more confident and I hope more presentable. I had various steps up and little victories. The first one I really remember was when a man held a door open for me and smiled sweetly (a man’s never smiled at me in that way when I’ve been in male mode). A second was when I went with my wife and another man held a door for us and said “there you are, ladies” – priceless! 

On another day I went with my wife for a girls’ day out clothes shopping and we also went into a pub for lunch. I had never done this before and as always, I was very nervous. I followed my wife into a crowded bar where she was told there were tables available in the next room. Before I knew it she had disappeared into this room leaving me to follow her to a dining area with about 20 tables most of which were full. My heart was in my mouth as I expected everyone to stop and look at me in astonishment. When they didn’t my heartbeat went down to a steady “incredibly fast” and I gathered myself as a waitress, without a hesitation, took us to a table. We had a wonderful spot and I remember looking out at the winter sun as swans swam in the river that flowed past the window. Life just didn’t get better than this. What a long way from guiltily dressing in my mother’s bedroom some 35 years earlier.


In more recent years, I regularly go  out shopping on my own and rarely get a second glance (although I usually half expect the world is going to stop and I take a big breath inwards when I get out of my car). If necessary, I even start conversations with others. A few years ago I was walking around the shops when a woman came up to me to ask me directions and she did not hesitate for a second as my none too feminine voice replied. In fact, we continued in a normal conversation as she asked further questions. I have been asked for directions on more than one occasion when en femme.

Considering how little I spend of my life out en femme, this is a high proportion of the time compared with when I am in male mode. It seems that not only do men not ask for directions, they do not get asked for them much either! I guess it’s because a woman you don’t know is very unlikely to give you trouble – a man may be an unknown quantity when approached in this way. 


One thing that I do enjoy, although this again can be a very nerve-racking place to be, are conversations that women have whilst waiting in the ladies for a cubicle to become free, and afterwards, whilst waiting for a wash basin or a mirror. If a man spoke to another in this way in the gents room, he may get some funny looks and would definitely be assumed to have the “gay” gene! Often the conversations are on the same subject – how there is such a queue for the women whilst the men don’t have to wait? Partly because they often don’t wash their hands, I would suggest (ugh!)


More recently, I have gone up to another level again and go to a pub on Saturday evenings to enjoy a drink and a dance to the DJ. Admittedly, it is a partly gay pub and there are other sisters there, but it is very liberating to be able to dance without feeling a little inhibited as I might if in male mode. Once again, women start conversations with you, sometimes because they have obviously read you, but occasionally they haven’t, or at least are prepared to treat you as another woman. 

On one occasion, I was speaking to a woman whilst her friend (who incidentally was in a wonderful Audrey Hepburn Breakfast at Tiffany’s style LBD) was being chatted up a by a male. The first woman was watching this with a look of contempt for him, leant closer to me and whispered, “That bloke’s a w*****.” I don’t approve of this language, but if ever a situation made me feel accepted by womankind, it was this. Insulting a man by a woman who is expecting my agreement – I thoroughly enjoyable moment. It’s a situation like that, though, that also helps me partly understand some of the difficulties women can experience with men “on the pull” on a Saturday evening. When the two women left later, we hugged and passed compliments to each other.

Being out in a pub on a Saturday night is always a “heart in my mouth” moment as I first enter the door to the bar and there have been occasions when I’ve been a little concerned by someone’s behaviour. Generally though, these nights have been great fun and despite being a very shy person, I have spoken to many women in a “girls together” way, which has been uplifting

As others have said here, in recent times there does seem to be a gradual increase in acceptance of us and provided we are reasonably convincing and don’t dress inappropriately, we will minimise the risks involved.

Apart from the experiences I have described, I’ve also attended balls, been taken out to lunch by a male friend (both on my “bucket list”) and even attempted karaoke (see photo) – well we all make mistakes! Although there are still things I haven’t done en femme such as travelling on public transport, going to a wedding or on a night out with a group of RGs/GGs (and who knows if I ever will), the adventures I have had have been wonderful. 

Like so many others, I started on my journey en femme too late, but now being in my mid-50s, I am aware of my mortality and aim to make up for lost time. I advise you to do the same – but always be sensitive of not imposing your "hobby" too much on others, which is a difficult path to keep to.



Source: Femulate Archive

Femulators in the United Kingdom, circa 1975.


Source: ShopBop

Wearing Alice + Olivia.

Femulating Mom

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Fortunato Castro femulating his mother
A lot of us femulate our mothers to some degree. I, for one, wear styles that my mother would wear. And growing up under her tutelage, I act like the lady she was.

A 27-year-old artist named Fortunato Castro femulated his mother for his senior thesis at Cooper Union. He "turned his lens on himself, for a series of powerful self-portraits. But, unlike most self-portraits, he posed in an unusual way: as his mother.”

You can read all about it and see a slideshow at The Cut.

Anti-Aging

On Tuesday, Daily Makeover had some excellent advice about makeup mistakes that make you look older. I don't know about you, but at my age, I want to look younger, not older, so I am taking their advice to heart.

Daily Makeover is a good source for good advice on hair and makeup. I subscribe to their daily e-mails and I recommend a free subscription to any girl who wants to improve her femulating skills.

Nailing It

I am a big fan of the Kiss brand of pre-glued press-on nails. They go on quick, stray on forever and are large enough to cover my Amazonian finger nails. But lately, they have been scarce.

I usually purchase my Kiss pre-glued press-on nails at CVS, Rite Aid or Walgreen, but for the past month or so, they have been missing from the racks of those stores. They have other Kiss brand nail products on their racks, but not the pre-glued press-ons that I know and love.

The Kiss website stills show them, so either my stores are no longer carrying them or there was a big run on them during the holidays.

My personal stock of nails is running low, so I wanted to find out what was going on. I went online to check the stores' websites and bingo! I struck paydirt at the first website I visited. Walgreen has them in stock and they are on sale: $3.17 per set.

I cannot recall them ever being that cheap, so I ordered enough sets to qualify for free shipping ($25 minimum) and await their delivery in 3 to 5 days.

Stop Me If You Heard This One Before

Meanwhile, here is a story about me buying Kiss nails at Rite Aid last year. (This is a rerun, but some of you might have missed it.)

The cashier was a middle-aged woman like myself and as she rang up my purchase, she joked,

"Doing your nails?"

Although I knew she was joking, I responded, "Yes, they're for me. I do drag."

"You do?"

"Yes, I do. I wish I had a photo to show you."

I don't know if she believed me or not, but since then i made sure that I have a photo of me en femme handy on my iPhone.






Professional femulator Billy Bigwood in 1921.



Source: Rent the Runway

Wearing Nha Khanh.

Sons

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sissy When we were pregnant, I hoped our child would be female because I thought that since I was a very feminine male, I would be a poor role model if our child was male.

As it turned out, our child was female, which was a big relief. (She also turned out to be my biggest supporter. She told me that if I ever decided to transition that she would support my decision wholeheartedly.)

If our child was male, I am sure that having a feminine father would have some effect on his life. How much of an effect, I'll never know.

Would having a father who had feminine mannerisms cause the boy to have feminine mannerisms?

Are (my) feminine mannerisms natural or nurtured?

My father was not feminine, but he was not around much during my early years.  However, my mother was very present during those years and if I was going to take after anyone, it seems that I would take after the parent who was present, not absent.

My theoretical son would have a double whammy --- both his parents were feminine, so if nurturing was the source of femininity, then my son would potentially be even more feminine than I am.

Feminine mannerisms are one thing, but what would be the effect of having a father who was feminine and who also presented as a woman at the drop of a chapeau?

Goddess only knows.

And if my son turned out to be feminine --- like father, like son --- would it be the end of the world?

You girls out there who have sons are better able to answer these questions than I. So please have at it by leaving Comments to this post.

 

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Actor Bryan Schmiderer femulating in the 2013
stage production of Southern Baptist Sissies.

 

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Wearing Madeleine.

Living Transgender Live Chat Today

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Jennifer L. Levi, Transgender Rights Project Director at GLAD, will participate in a live chat today. Joining healthcare practitioner Dr. Cecile Unger, advocate Bianca Moreau and host Martha Bebinger, the live chat will discuss some of the healthcare, legal, and other issues of concern to transgender and gender queer people.

The chat begins at 12 noon Eastern Standard Time at www.commonhealth.wbur.org.

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